hello world. or whoever's reading this.

right now I am listening to metallica, which is okay, but I can't really hear the lyrics. They have very nice guitar riffs and drum bits, though, which I suppose makes up for it.

I want a drum kit! Or the opportunity to play around with one. Miming with pens along to songs pretending to play is not satisfying enough. Anyone have a drum kit? Then I can come over to bang on it and pretend that I am Ringo Starr. I can't buy one myself, because it's really expensive, at least more than $100. There isn't space for one in my house, and it will annoy my family. Speaking of annoying people, I've heard someone playing the drums before, from someone else's house... or was that in tuition? Sorry, getting mixed up now. Because in chinese tuition there's a music school right beside it and then they have drum lessons while I have chinese lessons, and um sometimes I play along. (kinda) An electronic drum pad isn't loud enough, nor satisfying.

On another tangent, I wonder if bendemeer's band has a drum kit. It would be a big pain in the butt to transport though.

Speaking of vulgar words, I find myself saying them in my head more often these days. You know a while before I did an entry on someone saying f*** left, right and centre on his blog? (sec 2 I think) I kind of sympathise with that person and his need to swear. Though when you think properly, these words are only sounds that happen to offend people with their connotations. Assuming that one needs to swear to release pent-up anger or fustration, it would be more or less the same if they swore with "cantaloupe" or another innocuous word.

This is what Orson Scott Card thinks: "I put "bad" in quotation marks because in my opinion, there are no bad words. There are, however, forbidden words that acquire power within a community because they cause offense or outrage. To use such words with the intention of causing offense is bad. But in the sounds themselves, or even in the meaning, there is nothing intrinsically bad. After all, there is not a single "bad" word for which we do not have other words with the identical meaning which are perfectly acceptable."

Good Luck to everyone in arts fest :D we will own!

*sigh* the only metallica song I kind of like is Enter Sandman...

You know when I first read American Gods at the beginning of sec 2, [I remember not having enough time to read ! oh dear what is this saying about my work ethic] I interpreted it as being slightly moralistic. I thought gaiman was trying to tell people not to forget about their gods, but it felt a bit weird to me at that time because I had read smoke and mirrors before that, and he didn't seem like the moralistic type.

At that time I didn't have much experience with Adult Fiction, so I must have read everything quite literally, like how you read Young Adult fantasy. I also remember taking a long time to read it, firstly because it was quite long, and partly because of the complex themes you need time to think about. Because anyone can plow through, say, GoF quite quickly, and it's probably longer than american gods, it doesn't really have the depth of american gods, so you can read and understand it quite quickly. (sorry, jkr!)

Though now I'm reading it for the second time [gaiman put it up for free; the link is on his website till the end of march], and even though I've mostly forgotten the details of what happens, I think I've got the big picture: about gaiman trying to illustrate the situation of how gods are represented (or misrepresented) in the present, and in the american context, where almost everyone is an immigrant. Immigrants brought their gods, religions and beliefs to america when they migrated there, but right now people see themselves sometimes as american first and their ethnicity second. For example, ethnic Chinese living in the states sometimes see themselves as "American-Chinese" and not Chinese, or chinese-american.

Personally right now I'm reading it with a more open mind than in sec 2, but it's like reading the book for the first time actually, because I rediscover things I missed out, such as the relation of mr nancy to anansi boys. I think this is also partly because I've read some of sandman, (which is um, quite graphic, haha hence graphic novel) so when I come across the sick bits I'm not like: " oooh fascinating!" but "what is the significance of this to plot/ themes/ characterisation?" HAHAHAHA I've been studying hedda gabler, okay.

let's end with a quotable philo quote: "All we have to believe with is our senses, the tools we use to perceive the world: our sight, our touch, our memory. If they lie to us, then nothing can be trusted. And even if we do not believe, then still we cannot travel in any other way than the road our senses show us; and we must walk that road to the end."

Was browsing people's wishlists on BookMooch, and I saw that many many people have neil gaiman or the sandman series on their wishlists! Is there hope for a future Con(vention)? Meaning like a comic con, what they have in the states, or orbital, the con that gaiman is guest-honouring RIGHT NOW over the easter weekend, at this very moment. Gosh I sound like a fangirl. But I AM a fangirl! :D Orbital is the British National Science Fiction Convention, also known as Eastercon because it's held over the easter holidays. They have very very cool programmes lined up from friday to monday, which include SLASH DISCUSSION! yay *hyperventilates* I mean where else do hordes of people gather legitimately to talk about slash??? It's adults only, though): I count as an adult. If adult = not a kid. I am fifteen! And mature enough to talk about slash without breaking into giggles, really. Grr it says adult programming means no under 18s. But won't they need a voice representing the sexually repressed youth of today? Won't it vary the discussion and give an alternate perspective?

And then they have this thing called Rope Bondage Workshops o_o for people like geri, and mich [not the 415 one] I suppose. xD I didn't know so many people were into these things to have special classes for them.

The con programme is so long that it fills up more than 10 pages. I want a con like that in our region! There are so many people in the uk who like SF to validate a con like this... what about the leisure reading scene in singapore? Other than nanowrimo, or random poetry slams, they hardly do anything to prove their existence. But it could be that I'm not in their circles so I don't really know what's going on, but the bottom line is: we should have a fantasy/SF/ or YA (young adult) con. One that is actually affordable for regional fangirls (and fanboys) to attend. Partly because lately I've read so much about cons on neil gaiman's and orson scott card's blogs: the terry prachett discworld one in Pheonix, Arizona, the pending YA con which wanted to invite Madeline L'engle as GOH, the comic con that maddy, (gaiman's daughter) got to go to >( and the list goes on. I think the closest things we have to a con in singapore are things like cosfest, but these only serve the people who read/watch animae/manga. Though if we had a really general con- like the comic con- there could be a masquerade, like in orbital, where people walk down a runway like a fashion show, and show off their costumes. We could even invite local writers as GOH, since what are the chances of, say, Jasper Fforde coming to singapore just for a con that hasn't established a reputation?

Though looking at the volunteer list for a con, I didn't realise that there were so many things to do in preparation: you have to book a venue/hotel, invite GOHs, get retailers in the Dealer's room (where they sell their stuff), get people to do lights/ logistics for things like the discos and masquerade, get the website and publicity up, plan the programme, print and pack guides for people attending the con, and people who keep track of people who sign up/ have to pay for a con ticket. So I suppose there are professional event management people who do this in singapore, but traditionally people not in the exco are volunteers, so it keeps costs down for attendees.

I'm in the library now, and somebody's listening/ watching to american idol outside really loudly. I don't know how xD but they are putting Michael John's cover of Eleanor Rigby on repeat, which is fine by me(: I'm kind of following AI now, even though I don't watch much tv (because my mum and sister are watching korean dramas on it) OH OH I KNOW HOW THEY [people who are playing outside the library] ARE DOING IT! You can buy the videos' songs on iTunes, and they're probably playing it on an ipod with speakers. Because I think I'm hearing past seasons too. The person right now has a really good voice, actually. Right, I digress. Anyway, I watch american idol on their website now, because iTunes sponsors it. I like it because you can watch them over and over again, with the judge's comments edited out. Though I watched in last night on star world at 12am, and kind of missed having a large screen to watch it on, but whatever. Gosh I sound so teen.

On another note, someone please remind me to write more book reviews now (after lit, bio and math I suppose) so that I might be able to win movie tickets from the cats people. Additionally. the people who are writing reviews now on sunday are reviewing YA stuff, which gets boring after a while. I mean it's the kind of YA that is terribly high school and um cliched. Jeez this is elitist. I mean I think I would deliberately write a SF review, or an Oliver Twist one, since I'm reading it now. Luna was passable the last time; maybe I should go with Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan because I really like his GLBT descriptions. They make me melt. I'll just submit all three and they can pick... or I can submit them every two weeks, so that they won't have to choose between all three and pick mine all the time. *is selfish*

Ah, look at all the lonely people.

note to self: look up danse macabre.

I haven't talked about ecamp, even though blogsurfing was illuminating. I'll just put a couple lines for posterity. I think ecamp was okay; though the sec3s could have prepared for things like station games and meals in advance so things would proceed more smoothly. Mmm what I have to say has been said, so there's not much point putting it here. We always stay back to talk after camp, and for this one we stayed back... until 10! (or later, for the sec3s) Quite frankly, the best part was the pizza. [Which we haven't paid for ><] The JC2 ma'ams helped a lot, though it's mostly up to us if we are going to commit and put things through. da da dum. I remember the last time we had a day camp was when I was in sec2, we sang the red cross song really loudly, and were really enthu after camp.

I think I'd like to take drugs. You know, probably in the near future.

Okay that sounded bad- because you know the 3 big things they tell you to stay away from: sex, drugs and alcohol. Oh dear. I think I'm becoming a delinquent. But it's mostly because of the Beatles (and Across the Universe)-- they took LSD (acid) and marijuana, among others. I don't think I seriously want to take drugs, just you know, try them a little. Gosh I think after people read this they will go whoa hang on what's nick doing? actually I wanted to try them more yesterday, when I slept for an hour the night before. (don't ask) And then when I didn't sleep and geeru started me off with "pink butterflies" and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, (first thing in the morning, lol) it made me feel a little... off of the present plane. Like I trancended to another place that is not this one but almost like it. Maybe I just felt very escapist and put off by the things that were happening on monday.

But the beatles took drugs openly! They're like one of the few celebrities who are not dissed for it. Look at lindsay lohan, for example. The media portrays her in a very bad light because she had to go to rehab. What about amy winehouse? "They wanna make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no." There's this big stigma about taking drugs, = obviously, I shouldn't take them. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't know, I just like toying with the idea, mainly because it spurred creative output. (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, I am the Walrus)

and then I was pretending to seriously take lsd;
me: If I wanted to get lsd, where would I find it?
geeru: on ebay?
me: what if it turns out to be washing powder?
I mean how can I comtemplate this seriously if I don't know how it looks like? So on wikipedia it says: In pure form it is colorless, odorless and mildly bitter. LSD is typically delivered orally, usually on a substrate such as absorbent blotter paper, a sugar cube, or gelatin. In its liquid form, it can be administered by intramuscular or intravenous injection. The threshold dosage level needed to cause a psychoactive effect on humans is of the order of 20 to 30 µg (micrograms). That's not a lot to have hallucinations. Haha I was just thinking that we always have someone having hallucinations during mass evac; they could be taking lsd! It's also known as acid-- John Lennon was on an acid trip when writing I am a Walrus. Ooh it says intelligence agencies were interested in lsd as a social engineering tool during the cold war. o.o It was popular in the hippie movement, where the drug supposedly helped with enlightenment and meditation, and known as a psychadelic drug. However, "The United Nations Convention on Psychotropic Substances (adopted in 1971) requires its parties to prohibit LSD. Hence, it is illegal in all parties to the convention, which includes the United States, Australia, and most of Europe" so it would be difficult to obtain.

Therefore. I think I'll just stick to coffee at the moment. Anyway, it won't be easy to get it because a) it's illegal b) I don't know people who have/produce it c) I don't have a credit card for it on ebay. This is also the reason why they make drug-related movies nc-16, because 15 year olds are still stupidly impressionable and easy to influence. (i.e. me)

Brainwave!
because, you know, Beatles songs are not easy to analyse-- you don't know if they wrote it when they were on LSD or if they really mean it, or both. Strawberry Fields Forever, taking it in the context of across the universe:


Let me take you down cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever
Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out
It doesn't matter much to me

I was trying to understand what the Beatles meant, because the symbolism of strawberry fields does not relate at all to the rest of the lyrics. The way Jude pins the strawberries makes me thing of minefields and military formation (lol like FD) but if it means that, than why does he say "forever"? Then I thought and thought and thought. I think slowly, but because it's 3am! I have a brilliant brainwave. Jude is escapist! Like me! The speaker likes to not have to think about the war going on, in this case the vietnam war, because he thinks "living is easy with eyes closed" like "ignorance is bliss". But then the war is always nagging at the side, so he can't completely escape, and he is irritated at this. Because he knows that he isn't supposed to shut everything out and pretend that it isn't happening, as a kind of punishment for escaping, "misunderstanding is all you see".
When I think of closing your eyes and seeing misunderstanding, I think of the imagery of opening your eyes and gaining enlightenment. Or in this context Living with your eyes open is paying attention to what is happening, and because you look at all this destruction, you have a human moral calling to change things, and this might be the "enlightenment" bit. But when you change things, you become political and this forces you to pick sides and take a stand, and the speaker doesn't seem to want to take a stand, because fighting against the war may render you as eager to gain power as your political opponent.
The speaker might also find that it's "getting hard to be someone" because his conscience is telling him to go to something about the war. He finds it hard to be someone with principles and beliefs when escapism is refuting all the values you're supposed to have. He might also feel that he doesn't have value as a person, to be "someone" when he isn't doing anything for the war; he is just sitting and pretending things aren't as serious as they really are, or that nothing is happening, i.e. being useless.

*reminds self to talk more about symbolism and imagery of strawberry*

this is a song from across the universe, a movie musical made out of beatles songs(: the songs in it are all covers, but the songs in the movie are still very true to the original recordings. I haven't heard all the songs from the movie yet, but this one was used in one of the trailers, and it puts me in a very hippie romantic mood :D It made me want to run though the corridors with free abandon today and just sing! Though I didn't ): If you see the trailer, it might make you feel young and idealistic, and that anything can happen! It has the hope and lovey-ness of yellow submarine, and some of the artistic themes, but it's different! In a good way! Evan Rachel Wood is in it, and it kind of helps that Jim Sturgess- the male lead and the guy in this video- is cute. XD

( I know it was showing in singapore a while ago, but I've only recently stumbled on it, and coincidentally also on Idina Menzel [the original broadway elphaba] mooning in Rent- I didn't know she was in rent! She rocks there, by the way.)

Browse Inside this book Get this for your site

and go here:http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/8339/4db8fa6df104decb060a885nc0.gif

it's a hilary/obama banner with a sandman reference(:

So I went to jasper fforde's website, and I found out about the Fforde Fiesta! It's like a convention for fforde fans. And then there's a teen angst poetry competition, a thursday next and nursery crime knowledge quiz, a fancy dress parade (a little like cosplay), a dance, a karaoke prose reading competition, a murder mystery gala dinner, a guided bus tour of the nextian sights of swindon, and... you get the point. *swoons* I really want to go! Just that it's from 2nd may to 5th may, and school happens to be in the way. Just for fun, I planned an itinerary! (if I happened to be able to go)

Return trip from singapore to bristol on northwest: $1500USD [$2100SGD] (arriving on 2/5 and departing on 6/5)
Return trip from singapore to heathrow on qantas: $1600SGD
Return trip from singapore to bristol on lufthansa: $2400SGD (!)

I will take= QF5 and QF3601 [singapore-frankfurt-heathrow] and QF10 [heathrow-singapore]
From heathrow to swindon, you have to take a train from Paddington Railway Station, and to get there, you can either take the 15 min heathrow express (29pounds=$80.40SGD for a return ticket) or the underground (4pounds=$11.10SGDx2=$22.20). I'll probably take the underground, though this will take an hour or so; and I have to carry my stuff up and down platforms, which is a little tiresome. But you get to hear mind the gap! XD I'm such a sucker for these references.
from paddington to swindon by rail it's $17.50 pounds=$48.50SGD for a return ticket.

=so far, I can see a lot of breaks in my journey. it's like sg-heathrow-paddington-swindon- place of accomodation, and then back the same way. I like travelling on trains though; because I don't usually do that. For a more direct route, they recommend renting a car and taking a 1 1/2 hour drive from heathrow directly to the hotel, but I can't drive): if we went in a large group, we could hire a bus, and that would make travelling a lot faster and easier. Because right now the underground trip will take an hour, and the train would take another hour, and that's not counting waiting time. =

The host hotel (De Vere Shaw Ridge) is all booked up, so I have to look for another one. The nearest available one is 2.6miles= 4.2 km from de vere, and it's the Marsh Farm hotel, a 3 star thing that costs 278pounds=$770.50SGD for 4 nights. (2/5-6/5) A full english breakfast is included, though :D Checkout time is at 10am ): which means I have some time before a flight at around 6 pm.

The ticket for the fforde fiesta costs 30 pounds=$83.10SGD

So. The total cost of my trip would be $2524.30, not including the taxi from swindon train station to Marsh Farm, and meals. Actually, I can't believe the ticket itself is so pricey! I think it includes the price of booking of the conference halls, restaurant etc. And they're booked up the entire hotel from 3/5 to 5/5, so that must cost something. If I were to stay at the hotel, it would be 320pounds for 4 nights, more expensive than Marsh Farm. But I don't know how I'm going to get myself from Marsh Farm to De Vere, when it's 4.2km. I could take a taxi, but that would add up. I wish I could drive.

And in the above estimates, I'm not considering exact travel times, because they have to synchronise, right, if I'm booking a train ticket at a specific time. What if the flight gets delayed and I miss my train? >( the complications. And then I'm the kind who gets lost very easily. I'll even forget to say, have lunch if I have to travel during that period. (I do for certain, on 6/5) I think I need someone to come and chivvy me along.