whoa! Three weeks was a long time.

Oh, and if you were wondering about the library thing, I have been sitting on the first and only entry since school started, and I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. Maybe because I'm being perfectionist, because the book reviews are an hour at most... maybe it would be faster if I just typed the stupid thing out. I think the library is not very happy with me, because as a friend of the library you have to do an orientation course before you can start on any actual (i.e. physical, non-blogging) volunteer work, and I missed it, without rsvp-ing. I mean I confirmed my attendance 2 weeks before, and woke up late on the day itself >( Have I said this before? Well I'm saying it again for emphasis. But I think I underestimated how long it would take to get there, because it was at Jurong West Community Library, and it was 1 1/2 hours actually by bus. Oh dear and because I don't normally go there I thought it wouldn't take too long. Right. End of rant.

So for the library blog I've been thinking of possible topics. The first one I've been sitting on is about Cons. (where like-minded fans meet up and have panels, not disadvantages, nor incidents where people get scammed.) And then maybe I'll do a couple book reviews as filler? Or I can talk about threadbangers, or bookmooch and freecycle, and plug that. [threadbangers is a DIY sewing channel on youtube, and freecycle is this network for people to exchange unwanted items] Or I can talk about how lousy school counsellors are. [unqualified generalisation] Urgh because a couple days ago I had all these ideas bubbling in my head, and now apparently gas is not produced because electrolysis has ceased and I can't remember them anymore. Ohoh one thing I thought of is my experiences on the singapore transport system. Interesting! heh. Why people choose to stare into blank space while commuting and not try to do something constructive- the subways in Boston, MA are more interesting than that. People will come in droves to read me! I will be adored by whoever reads the library blog! I will get offered a column in a major newspaper!

Speaking of newspapers, Dr [S]akhar (sp?) recommended The Guardian (UK) and The Atlantic ____ (US) instead of newsweek to read for english/ current affairs. And I was quite puzzled (yeah, you know me, I'm not a very discerning reader) because I thought newsweek was quite enjoyable, and informative. Maybe this is because I don't really read international newspapers, but I really thought their coverage of the US elections was quite thorough. And I also subconsciously like it partly because they're pro-democrat, and so am I -_-" So my household subscribes to The Economist as well, and even though they tend to have more international stories than newsweek, does it mean that they are both substandard? I'm not saying newsweek is better or anything; because any other paper is better than The Straits Times, and I have nothing to compare newsweek/economist to. I like the international herald tribune because of its arts section, and I've read the new york times and washington post. The question, then, ultimately is: how do I tell if a periodical is good, if well-known and established ones are not? I think I shall go look up copies of The Guardian the library has.

hey, haven't been updating lately. that's because of my lack of internet access! I have to go to school or the internet cafe to use it. And also because I'm contributing things to the NLB blog for my sl project, so I won't be posting here for a while.

let's see... oh singtel's automated answering service is very annoying. It keeps on making you dial the number over and over again, and THEN it says to use the line that your're calling regarding, so I had to look for the phone line connected to the modem, figure out which number it is [there were a total of 3 numbers to choose from and I kept trying different combinations of line and number] and try not to run out of tries-- they give you 3 tries and hang up on you >( Thank goodness the phone was right next to the computer. haha and then I was so happy at FINALLY got to speak to a human voice that when the operator answered I cheered and I'm so glad she didn't hang up on me. Guess what the problem was? Billing issues. [again] oh jeez not that I'm complaining, but it always happens. I should be grateful that I even have internet at all. At least I'm spending less time on the computer because of this, and prioritising internet use.

Orson Scott Card liked Prince Caspian too! :D please go watch it; it's really good-- much much better than the book. Ooh I have a pair of free gv movie tickets-- anyone wants a movie on me? haha the only condition is that you have to watch caspian.

Prince Caspian Review!
[spoilers begin]I LOVED IT! It was really much darker and grittier this time, complete with angst on the part of Peter (William Moseley) and Prince Caspian (This guy who was in history boys). It's more depressing than the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, obviously but there still runs a "Aslan saves the day" thread. The religious undertones in this one were quite evident, too, when Aslan only appears in front of Lucy but not the others, and when Aslan is represented as this disembodied voice. Also a carving of him is in the stone table chamber, and in the movie, he is represented as this huge foil to the white witch, which peter then is remorse in front of.

Gosh I sound like I haven't read the book yet, but the last time I read it it was when LWW came out, so I can't really remember. But the most significant images that left an impression on my first reading when I was quite young were the hag -werewolf- nikibrik fight, and that turned out to be really good. Though I really wanted to see bacchus and the naiads and dryads dancing in the streets at the end/ defeating the telmarines. I mean in the books there were 2 kinds of trees, right? The old ones, like ents, as featured in the movie and the dryads and nymph-like dancing women. The trees weren't that...alive in the movie than in the book. I think you know what I mean. Okay enough nitpicking.

Lucy's (Georgie Henley) performance was very believeable, in the Aslan scenes especially. I mean when you're a child it's easier for you to imagine and interact with something that isn't actually there, right? So her interactions with Aslan were more beliveable than say Moseley's or Anna Popplewell's (Susan). But they were all great as actors and they were very true to the spirit of the books. The chemistry between them is great, too, when they trust each other and the conversations now are geared more toward an adult audience, because there's some induction involved. I like the way they communicate; like they're not just spiteful to someone without a reason, and there are bits where they hint that peter and susan are getting too old for narnia and they need to be moving on.

Another thing I liked were the epic battle scenes, and grim mood throughout. and the way they illustrated the fauns, centures and minators. It was more lord of the rings, than, say, philosopher's stone, which is good. Something which I really really hate is the way the director tried to sneak in the susan/ CASPIAN pairing oh god that was the worst. I mean it's not evident in the book but if you read especially into it, it might be, but it made susan seem so... old. Oh but she is but the pairing is simply AWFUL because Ben Barnes (caspian) had to put on this really fake telmarine accent. And in the movie he is dark. has long hair. is repulsive. And in some ways he should be more of a monach than someone who fancies susan. [spoilers end]

you must think: finally! I am writing an entry! after the myas. and I am!

On Prom/ Farewell Alma Mater

A while ago nicolelin liang and sihui were talking about prom and things, and it got me thinking. I what IS the whole point of FAM? To get people to show off their dresses, to have dinner, to have a good time with friends while watching other friends vie for ms farewell alma mater (did I get that right?) It sounds kind of boring, to say the least. Okay I think I might go, just to make people happy, but a sit-down dinner will be kind of boring. And the other day we had to vote for the themes? Some people have already brought their dresses anyway; it's not like kids in our school are willing to modify their outfit to suit the theme. No offence to the organising committee of course. I've heard people planning to go in tuxes, which would be really fun. Other than that, when you see photos, everyone just wears more or less the same thing. Honestly, with no relation to the theme.

I think if I ever go, I'm going to make my own dress, with the help of some patterns from the threadbanger forums. And I'm only going to go if there's dancing. We could go to an afterparty afterward! Or do something interesting other that staying in the hotel room watching tv. A movie marathon sounds good. Or walking around the streets at night, although illegal. Or go to the park and run around and play in the playground or just go somewhere to talk.

Farewell Alma Mater is just a formality after all. A celebratory farewell dinner with bells and whistles. A night you're supposed to remember as the last time you're ever in secondary school. A night where people turn up for the sake of it.

hihello I'm posting now so that I woun't come online tonight; can't fail math tomorrow. oh jeez I think I've unplugged myself too much. As in you know disassociated and taken away. because i've been losing things. And I never ever lose things. Things like my waterbottle and pencils and chemnotes when may seem insignificant, but it's difficult for me to lose things. When I travel, even if I've lost something, I KNOW I've lost it, but this time I just don't know immediately that I've left it somewhere; I only know if I've lost it when I'm looking for the item. And I've kept the water bottle for 4 years already and not lost it. Right that sounds gross. And that time I left my jacket in the melbourne holiday inn -.- I didn't even notice till 24 hours after we left. And it's not like a tiny item, say a pencil. Do you know how big a jacket is??? Urgh I need to plug myself back in, though I don't think I can anymore. I spend... 75% of the time unplugged just so I won't act like a big emotional wuss. It's like a coping mechanism I can't do without. I used to sm, (safely, of course) and it helped for a while but sometimes it just makes it worse):

okay on JC. I don't want to go to RJ. really. This sounds really ungrateful and all, since some people would die to get there. But I don't,. It's like in Never Let Me Go, and when the people "graduate" they go to the cottages and it's where everyone goes and it's practically a given that you go there; it would be just weird if you didn't. Okay, in the year above me, not everyone went to RJ; some went to NJ or HC, but I might not want to go there either. :/ Though I don't think I can get in. Because you have to get >2.8 to get into RJ, I have a really bad feeling I won't even be able to meet that. [sidenote: the lead singer of The Parselmouths hasn't gotten below a 3.5gpa before o: and this made me think, more later.] I mean when you have a reputation of being this psychopathic addict in the staffroom, how much of a testimonial can you get? Although, granted, my results aren't dependent on how I come accross, and I should buck up on math and physics and LIT OF ALL THINGS oh you know, on just about every subject.

Back to The Parselmouths. So I saw her vid yesterday, and I thought: What the freaking hell am I doing with my life?! Bumming around, not bothering, disconnecting, and look at her! she writes fiction, gets a good gpa, did nanowrimo TWICE, is in a touring band... and she's still about 20 or so. And I felt really stupid. I mean I don't think I can even get a job with this attitude, never mind getting a job that I enjoy. What am I? This fat leech that eats and sleeps all day. It would be a miracle if I could get through to uni even: just look at my report book! Although everyone expects you to go to uni, and get not just a degree, but at least a masters. I mean in my school it's taken for granted that you'll go to uni, then be a good public servant or ceo or politician or specialist and be really outstanding... right someone's asking me to study so that's it for now I guess

Here I am, sitting here, stealing internet from the school... not that many people are on the server right now. Is that the correct word? God I suck at computer-related things. I can't do html, I can't do photoshop, can't do EXCEL and all the crazy functions, can't do movie maker... [which is what I really want right now after being inspired by the vlogs on youtube. look up lemonfacee, mememolly, billilovesmargot! they're very cool and funny. lemonfacee has this cute except of The Adventures of Fanboy And Goth Girl... and there's this rhodo-something person >< she's friends with lemonfacee and some other uk youtubers... *sigh* just go look all their friends up; it's this big cool community of artsy and funny people who range from being 15 to people in their 30s]

Somebody tell me to stop using ellipses. As I was saying, hang on what WAS I saying? Oh I wasn't really saying anything. Just that when they decided to teach us excel and html and photoshop at school I was not listening/ have forgotten everything now. haha the only thing I remotely remember listening to were when we learnt how to make webpages using this program and I discovered fronskifeint in p5 and I was making a harry-potter themed website. Yeah yeah, an emerson spartz hopeful. Though that website kind of turned into hpzlotrz.blogspot.com and I'm so glad I deleted it (actually mum made me delete it; though that's another story) because the url itself is embarrassing. musicroom was like this concurrent project; originally it was a joint blog from oh p5 (again) where I would put news about simple plan and 987fm *cringes* thank goodness I don't have public archives. And there you go! A brief history. So this blog is 5 years old this year! I don't know when is it's birthday, though. But 5 years is pretty momentuous, don't you think?

Let's see. I should be going on a brief hiatus like huiqi because the myas are on; and everyone seems to know that I really need to study, heh. But I feel I have to put something up because the last time I did that was 2 weeks ago? or so and I didn't want to leave the blog to die. Not that anyone reads it though; I signed up for a blog counter and NOONE, I repeat, noone, not even a bot, has visited the site in the past week. So I can say whatever I damn well want. Woot! *throws inner editor out of the window*

After the myas I want to go shoe shopping! because *someone* has stolen my black flats xD not that I really want to buy another pair of black flats but what about sandals? or sneakers? because shoes are the one thing I can't buy online because of the weight and the fit--- I have small feet): and delias sometimes doesn't even stock my size. It was difficult enough to find something that fit me in london. I think I'll buy heels. But I want a nice pair of sneakers/ high tops so I don't have to wear running shoes if I don't want to wear school shoes. And I want heels maybe because flats don't exactly go with everything.

I don't know how to conclude this. I'll probably won't update in the near future because I'm terribly behind in Math and physics and bio [30%] D: plus lit SA was terribly depressing.

I visit the rgs congress forum sometimes, but lately it's been getting irritating because on some threads, when something is a common problem, everyone goes and describes the problem she has. In the end, the posts in the thread tend to repeat themselves because everyone has just described her problem that has been talked about at least 10 times before by other people. bchew has already asked people to come up with constructive strategies that actually help to solve the problem; but no one seems to take note. There aren't really a lot of alternative perspectives because everyone just sits around whining about things.

And for some contentious topics such as "to have an SA week or not" there is no definite solution because last year people _hated_ SA weeks because they didn't have time to study and then now people _want_ SA weeks. And someone said (sorry if I'm not crediting you!) that the grass would always look greener on the other side, and I absolutely agree. I bet if they implement SA week again people will want the SAs to be spread out. Therefore, to solve the problem, the school should have SA week only every other year, so people are kept happy. :)

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I just told someone to f___ off. [don't worry, the person isn't a friend nor family] Two years ago, I swore that I would never do this kind of thing, and then now I'm saying it in my head all the time. It's awful, crude, disgusting, and immature. But after I told that person to go away, I felt oddly satisfied. And relieved. But it's just a stupid word! And I felt better than if I would have used any other word. ._. I think I have succumbed to insidious influences. Not that I would shriek and run away if I heard someone say it, but I'm using it once too often.

Morgan used to say it all the time though, and I assume goth girl does as well, and they both had this "I don't care" vibe, i.e. sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. (okay that was a little ironic.) Gaiman uses it. Margaret Atwood uses it. So why can't I? Because it demonstrates that I don't have sufficient vocabulary to express myself. So I could have said " stop bugging me, you repressed creep. it's not my fault if no one else wants to talk to you" instead. {even though it isn't eloquent ><}

Okay if I ever ever use this word here, even for effect, someone please flame me/ physically threaten me if it isn't censored. Please.

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AA was really fun! :D and ally was great as the ringmaster!

it's been some time. a week.

let's see. today was ORA. You know in my 4 years in rg, the only time I ever participated in ORA was last year, where you could do a fa duty cum support sch activity, and I didn't really really participate because there wasn't much to do. Ah well. Talk about my school spirit (or lack thereof) I spent my time at home bumming around, doing math, physics, being sloth-like, the works. Imagine! Other people at the wrcd thing, and at ora, and I am at home being a pig. I disgust myself. Mum isn't very approving of me going to school on saturdays though; she thinks the time could be better spent studying, and I did study, so.

The point is that I should be writing more insightful things like yingling does, and not talk about insignificant frivolous things. Though I should be getting around to clearing the computer table; the pile of papers is now high enough that it is partially obscuring the monitor. That's how bad it is.

You know, I've realised that physical boundaries are not enough to keep people together, however much it might help, though. And it's irritating when there's no authority to get people going and to provide the incentive for people to _hand things up on time_ even though this speaks volumes about my assertiveness. I should not focus on myself so much >( I should focus more on other people! It isn't an onion anymore; it's more like battenberg cake. But I'm happy just as long as it's not the red seas, and sometimes crisises help divert focus, so it's not all that bad. idk, the groupie who sleeps with the band, contrary to popular belief, does not know everything. Haha the analogies don't really fit. But they're funny.

stupid. the lit review is STILL pending for me and I'm not doing anything ._. and I expect other people not to be tardy. WHAT AN IRONY.

Had lunch with mich (412) today; haven't talked to her properly in ages! It was quite pleasant and giggly, and I remembered what it was like again, because we laugh about the same things, and I don't get stared at for laughing randomly, because she does too :D And I had a $5.60 milkshake from carl's jr, which was lovely and thick, not like the mcdonalds one [I abhor that place], but overwhelmingly sweet towards the end. Don't buy it unless you feel depressed and need to drown your sorrows in something creamy and saccharine, because it's not worth it otherwise.

What else happened? Oh I made kidney bean stew (yummy) for the protein and it was surprisingly good and moreish :D I made it after midnight, of course. It had green pepper, copious amounts of onion, pepper, cumin, leftover pasta sauce, a can of kidney beans, and korma curry sauce from a jar.

Basically you put vegetable oil, pepper, salt, onions and green peppers in, stir it around a little, then put in the kidney beans. Stir somemore, and I put in pasta sauce and the curry-from-a-jar, and stir as you would stone soup. At this point the mixture will start to smell deelicious, and it's very fun stirring it. Oh put some water in (1/2cup) so it doesn't dry, though now it will look deceptively watery, because it will get thicker later. Then pop the lid on the saucepan and go do the washing up, but stir it every minute, so it doesn't stick to the bottom.

[the recipe I had didn't tell me this, and I thought it was burning when I couldn't get the stuff off the bottom. D< and it did say medium heat. Put it on low just in case. I ended up having to scour the pot ): ]

The waiting's the worst part. You are close enough to smell it, but it isn't quite done yet and you're practically salivating. But patience is a virtue! Listen to your mother. Okay after 10-15 mins, it's done, so scrape as much as you can off the bottom with the wooden spoon and turn off the heat. Then I ladled it into tupperware to freeze and keep, but you can eat yours on the spot if you want. I couldn't help sneaking a few spoonfuls, and it was difficult to stop. Lala.

It freezes quite well, just microwave for one minute, stir, and microwave for another minute when you want to eat. It's okay on its own, but not filling, so I microwaved mine with leftover rice and was good enough for lunch. Even though mine was ugly (a murky brown colour) it leaves you wanting more! and anyway you'll like it better if you cook it yourself(: Let's see. I didn't give any values, because most of them were guesstimates--the values in the recipe was in ounces): and I rounded up a lot. Just put whatever you feel like-- I did 1/4 of a pepper and 1/2 an onion and 1 tbsp of pepper.

okay! and thus ends a long post.

[/edit] OMG I just read this and it turns out the kidney bean stew thing is... chilli! yaya. YEAH. I've always wanted to eat chilli con carne because it's mentioned in a nat king cole song [don't laugh] and then now I realise I've eaten it :D Only "real" chilli in shops always has beef in it): and then I can't eat it and then now I can eat sloppy joes! and make them myself! Next time, I'll put alcohol in it, and more veggies, and crackers.

very very funny xD didn't know the beatles were like that, though I do know they used to "mach schau" in their hamburg days.

IT IS. eleven pm. and I told xavier I would study bio. I have bio- related websites open, but it is not getting in >:( it's just a lot of memorising, not like lit. I have to do well for bio, because my general gpa is falling. [Falling, yes I am falling/ And she keeps calling/ me back again]

and I forgot to mention, like huiqi did, yay rgsrcy for Arts Fest :D Even though some yearmates weren't really satisfied, you will always be winners in our hearts(: Plus the fact that the songs are permanent earworms say something, doesn't it? The sec3s were appropriately emo on saturday; and it was very fun (haha scary) with all the makeup. It was quite deep, actually and had meaning :D The sec2s buying shoes+elastic was really worth the effort. And they learnt the dance steps yingling jiaying huiqi liang taught them quite quickly, too(: Unit Dinner was... an interesting affair. sihui and I were feeling broke and hungry, so shared mushroom ramen and went to mango lingo to get icecream and shakes. yumyum. AND THEN I bought a mocha doughnut on the way home. [someone was craving shilin chicken, btw]

Goth Girl: "Comic book wannabe."
Fanboy: "Ha! Wannabe? You want to talk about that? You're a freakin' Goth wannabe. You're a Neil Gaiman wannabe. You're a suicide wannabe."

very very funny. Fanboy and Goth Girl by Barry Lyga is something I found amongst the new arrivals in the library today :D It's about this comic book geek who gets alienated in school, and then meets Kyra, who reads comic books too, but of the Sandman/ Gaiman variety! (Fanboy reads superhero stuff, x-men, that kind of thing -_-")

It's very unfortunately YA though, like Twilight [stephanie meyer] and Are we There Yet? [David Levithan] I mean mostly YA is lousy. Most of the new arrivals are YA; emo angsty things which revolve around the same themes, but Fanboy is an exception. Pretty soon I'm going to say everything is an exception, at the rate that I'm going, but I digress. I'm quite happy that amongst the new arrivals there's one addressing GLBT issues, like Luna and The Realm of Possibility. ^-^

Go read it! (if you can get ahold of it) I went there before lunch during free block to read it and then after school it was gone! It is that popular. If you get it, can you lend it to me? Please? Actually now all my borrowing spaces are taken up by a Jasper Fforde and andrea's books, but the Fforde is due on thursday-- after bio, luckily-- so I should be able to have spaces then.

Oddly, Fanboy reminds me of Xavier :/

hello world. or whoever's reading this.

right now I am listening to metallica, which is okay, but I can't really hear the lyrics. They have very nice guitar riffs and drum bits, though, which I suppose makes up for it.

I want a drum kit! Or the opportunity to play around with one. Miming with pens along to songs pretending to play is not satisfying enough. Anyone have a drum kit? Then I can come over to bang on it and pretend that I am Ringo Starr. I can't buy one myself, because it's really expensive, at least more than $100. There isn't space for one in my house, and it will annoy my family. Speaking of annoying people, I've heard someone playing the drums before, from someone else's house... or was that in tuition? Sorry, getting mixed up now. Because in chinese tuition there's a music school right beside it and then they have drum lessons while I have chinese lessons, and um sometimes I play along. (kinda) An electronic drum pad isn't loud enough, nor satisfying.

On another tangent, I wonder if bendemeer's band has a drum kit. It would be a big pain in the butt to transport though.

Speaking of vulgar words, I find myself saying them in my head more often these days. You know a while before I did an entry on someone saying f*** left, right and centre on his blog? (sec 2 I think) I kind of sympathise with that person and his need to swear. Though when you think properly, these words are only sounds that happen to offend people with their connotations. Assuming that one needs to swear to release pent-up anger or fustration, it would be more or less the same if they swore with "cantaloupe" or another innocuous word.

This is what Orson Scott Card thinks: "I put "bad" in quotation marks because in my opinion, there are no bad words. There are, however, forbidden words that acquire power within a community because they cause offense or outrage. To use such words with the intention of causing offense is bad. But in the sounds themselves, or even in the meaning, there is nothing intrinsically bad. After all, there is not a single "bad" word for which we do not have other words with the identical meaning which are perfectly acceptable."

Good Luck to everyone in arts fest :D we will own!

*sigh* the only metallica song I kind of like is Enter Sandman...

You know when I first read American Gods at the beginning of sec 2, [I remember not having enough time to read ! oh dear what is this saying about my work ethic] I interpreted it as being slightly moralistic. I thought gaiman was trying to tell people not to forget about their gods, but it felt a bit weird to me at that time because I had read smoke and mirrors before that, and he didn't seem like the moralistic type.

At that time I didn't have much experience with Adult Fiction, so I must have read everything quite literally, like how you read Young Adult fantasy. I also remember taking a long time to read it, firstly because it was quite long, and partly because of the complex themes you need time to think about. Because anyone can plow through, say, GoF quite quickly, and it's probably longer than american gods, it doesn't really have the depth of american gods, so you can read and understand it quite quickly. (sorry, jkr!)

Though now I'm reading it for the second time [gaiman put it up for free; the link is on his website till the end of march], and even though I've mostly forgotten the details of what happens, I think I've got the big picture: about gaiman trying to illustrate the situation of how gods are represented (or misrepresented) in the present, and in the american context, where almost everyone is an immigrant. Immigrants brought their gods, religions and beliefs to america when they migrated there, but right now people see themselves sometimes as american first and their ethnicity second. For example, ethnic Chinese living in the states sometimes see themselves as "American-Chinese" and not Chinese, or chinese-american.

Personally right now I'm reading it with a more open mind than in sec 2, but it's like reading the book for the first time actually, because I rediscover things I missed out, such as the relation of mr nancy to anansi boys. I think this is also partly because I've read some of sandman, (which is um, quite graphic, haha hence graphic novel) so when I come across the sick bits I'm not like: " oooh fascinating!" but "what is the significance of this to plot/ themes/ characterisation?" HAHAHAHA I've been studying hedda gabler, okay.

let's end with a quotable philo quote: "All we have to believe with is our senses, the tools we use to perceive the world: our sight, our touch, our memory. If they lie to us, then nothing can be trusted. And even if we do not believe, then still we cannot travel in any other way than the road our senses show us; and we must walk that road to the end."

Was browsing people's wishlists on BookMooch, and I saw that many many people have neil gaiman or the sandman series on their wishlists! Is there hope for a future Con(vention)? Meaning like a comic con, what they have in the states, or orbital, the con that gaiman is guest-honouring RIGHT NOW over the easter weekend, at this very moment. Gosh I sound like a fangirl. But I AM a fangirl! :D Orbital is the British National Science Fiction Convention, also known as Eastercon because it's held over the easter holidays. They have very very cool programmes lined up from friday to monday, which include SLASH DISCUSSION! yay *hyperventilates* I mean where else do hordes of people gather legitimately to talk about slash??? It's adults only, though): I count as an adult. If adult = not a kid. I am fifteen! And mature enough to talk about slash without breaking into giggles, really. Grr it says adult programming means no under 18s. But won't they need a voice representing the sexually repressed youth of today? Won't it vary the discussion and give an alternate perspective?

And then they have this thing called Rope Bondage Workshops o_o for people like geri, and mich [not the 415 one] I suppose. xD I didn't know so many people were into these things to have special classes for them.

The con programme is so long that it fills up more than 10 pages. I want a con like that in our region! There are so many people in the uk who like SF to validate a con like this... what about the leisure reading scene in singapore? Other than nanowrimo, or random poetry slams, they hardly do anything to prove their existence. But it could be that I'm not in their circles so I don't really know what's going on, but the bottom line is: we should have a fantasy/SF/ or YA (young adult) con. One that is actually affordable for regional fangirls (and fanboys) to attend. Partly because lately I've read so much about cons on neil gaiman's and orson scott card's blogs: the terry prachett discworld one in Pheonix, Arizona, the pending YA con which wanted to invite Madeline L'engle as GOH, the comic con that maddy, (gaiman's daughter) got to go to >( and the list goes on. I think the closest things we have to a con in singapore are things like cosfest, but these only serve the people who read/watch animae/manga. Though if we had a really general con- like the comic con- there could be a masquerade, like in orbital, where people walk down a runway like a fashion show, and show off their costumes. We could even invite local writers as GOH, since what are the chances of, say, Jasper Fforde coming to singapore just for a con that hasn't established a reputation?

Though looking at the volunteer list for a con, I didn't realise that there were so many things to do in preparation: you have to book a venue/hotel, invite GOHs, get retailers in the Dealer's room (where they sell their stuff), get people to do lights/ logistics for things like the discos and masquerade, get the website and publicity up, plan the programme, print and pack guides for people attending the con, and people who keep track of people who sign up/ have to pay for a con ticket. So I suppose there are professional event management people who do this in singapore, but traditionally people not in the exco are volunteers, so it keeps costs down for attendees.

I'm in the library now, and somebody's listening/ watching to american idol outside really loudly. I don't know how xD but they are putting Michael John's cover of Eleanor Rigby on repeat, which is fine by me(: I'm kind of following AI now, even though I don't watch much tv (because my mum and sister are watching korean dramas on it) OH OH I KNOW HOW THEY [people who are playing outside the library] ARE DOING IT! You can buy the videos' songs on iTunes, and they're probably playing it on an ipod with speakers. Because I think I'm hearing past seasons too. The person right now has a really good voice, actually. Right, I digress. Anyway, I watch american idol on their website now, because iTunes sponsors it. I like it because you can watch them over and over again, with the judge's comments edited out. Though I watched in last night on star world at 12am, and kind of missed having a large screen to watch it on, but whatever. Gosh I sound so teen.

On another note, someone please remind me to write more book reviews now (after lit, bio and math I suppose) so that I might be able to win movie tickets from the cats people. Additionally. the people who are writing reviews now on sunday are reviewing YA stuff, which gets boring after a while. I mean it's the kind of YA that is terribly high school and um cliched. Jeez this is elitist. I mean I think I would deliberately write a SF review, or an Oliver Twist one, since I'm reading it now. Luna was passable the last time; maybe I should go with Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan because I really like his GLBT descriptions. They make me melt. I'll just submit all three and they can pick... or I can submit them every two weeks, so that they won't have to choose between all three and pick mine all the time. *is selfish*

Ah, look at all the lonely people.

note to self: look up danse macabre.

I haven't talked about ecamp, even though blogsurfing was illuminating. I'll just put a couple lines for posterity. I think ecamp was okay; though the sec3s could have prepared for things like station games and meals in advance so things would proceed more smoothly. Mmm what I have to say has been said, so there's not much point putting it here. We always stay back to talk after camp, and for this one we stayed back... until 10! (or later, for the sec3s) Quite frankly, the best part was the pizza. [Which we haven't paid for ><] The JC2 ma'ams helped a lot, though it's mostly up to us if we are going to commit and put things through. da da dum. I remember the last time we had a day camp was when I was in sec2, we sang the red cross song really loudly, and were really enthu after camp.

I think I'd like to take drugs. You know, probably in the near future.

Okay that sounded bad- because you know the 3 big things they tell you to stay away from: sex, drugs and alcohol. Oh dear. I think I'm becoming a delinquent. But it's mostly because of the Beatles (and Across the Universe)-- they took LSD (acid) and marijuana, among others. I don't think I seriously want to take drugs, just you know, try them a little. Gosh I think after people read this they will go whoa hang on what's nick doing? actually I wanted to try them more yesterday, when I slept for an hour the night before. (don't ask) And then when I didn't sleep and geeru started me off with "pink butterflies" and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, (first thing in the morning, lol) it made me feel a little... off of the present plane. Like I trancended to another place that is not this one but almost like it. Maybe I just felt very escapist and put off by the things that were happening on monday.

But the beatles took drugs openly! They're like one of the few celebrities who are not dissed for it. Look at lindsay lohan, for example. The media portrays her in a very bad light because she had to go to rehab. What about amy winehouse? "They wanna make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no." There's this big stigma about taking drugs, = obviously, I shouldn't take them. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't know, I just like toying with the idea, mainly because it spurred creative output. (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, I am the Walrus)

and then I was pretending to seriously take lsd;
me: If I wanted to get lsd, where would I find it?
geeru: on ebay?
me: what if it turns out to be washing powder?
I mean how can I comtemplate this seriously if I don't know how it looks like? So on wikipedia it says: In pure form it is colorless, odorless and mildly bitter. LSD is typically delivered orally, usually on a substrate such as absorbent blotter paper, a sugar cube, or gelatin. In its liquid form, it can be administered by intramuscular or intravenous injection. The threshold dosage level needed to cause a psychoactive effect on humans is of the order of 20 to 30 µg (micrograms). That's not a lot to have hallucinations. Haha I was just thinking that we always have someone having hallucinations during mass evac; they could be taking lsd! It's also known as acid-- John Lennon was on an acid trip when writing I am a Walrus. Ooh it says intelligence agencies were interested in lsd as a social engineering tool during the cold war. o.o It was popular in the hippie movement, where the drug supposedly helped with enlightenment and meditation, and known as a psychadelic drug. However, "The United Nations Convention on Psychotropic Substances (adopted in 1971) requires its parties to prohibit LSD. Hence, it is illegal in all parties to the convention, which includes the United States, Australia, and most of Europe" so it would be difficult to obtain.

Therefore. I think I'll just stick to coffee at the moment. Anyway, it won't be easy to get it because a) it's illegal b) I don't know people who have/produce it c) I don't have a credit card for it on ebay. This is also the reason why they make drug-related movies nc-16, because 15 year olds are still stupidly impressionable and easy to influence. (i.e. me)

Brainwave!
because, you know, Beatles songs are not easy to analyse-- you don't know if they wrote it when they were on LSD or if they really mean it, or both. Strawberry Fields Forever, taking it in the context of across the universe:


Let me take you down cause I'm going to strawberry fields
Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever
Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out
It doesn't matter much to me

I was trying to understand what the Beatles meant, because the symbolism of strawberry fields does not relate at all to the rest of the lyrics. The way Jude pins the strawberries makes me thing of minefields and military formation (lol like FD) but if it means that, than why does he say "forever"? Then I thought and thought and thought. I think slowly, but because it's 3am! I have a brilliant brainwave. Jude is escapist! Like me! The speaker likes to not have to think about the war going on, in this case the vietnam war, because he thinks "living is easy with eyes closed" like "ignorance is bliss". But then the war is always nagging at the side, so he can't completely escape, and he is irritated at this. Because he knows that he isn't supposed to shut everything out and pretend that it isn't happening, as a kind of punishment for escaping, "misunderstanding is all you see".
When I think of closing your eyes and seeing misunderstanding, I think of the imagery of opening your eyes and gaining enlightenment. Or in this context Living with your eyes open is paying attention to what is happening, and because you look at all this destruction, you have a human moral calling to change things, and this might be the "enlightenment" bit. But when you change things, you become political and this forces you to pick sides and take a stand, and the speaker doesn't seem to want to take a stand, because fighting against the war may render you as eager to gain power as your political opponent.
The speaker might also find that it's "getting hard to be someone" because his conscience is telling him to go to something about the war. He finds it hard to be someone with principles and beliefs when escapism is refuting all the values you're supposed to have. He might also feel that he doesn't have value as a person, to be "someone" when he isn't doing anything for the war; he is just sitting and pretending things aren't as serious as they really are, or that nothing is happening, i.e. being useless.

*reminds self to talk more about symbolism and imagery of strawberry*

this is a song from across the universe, a movie musical made out of beatles songs(: the songs in it are all covers, but the songs in the movie are still very true to the original recordings. I haven't heard all the songs from the movie yet, but this one was used in one of the trailers, and it puts me in a very hippie romantic mood :D It made me want to run though the corridors with free abandon today and just sing! Though I didn't ): If you see the trailer, it might make you feel young and idealistic, and that anything can happen! It has the hope and lovey-ness of yellow submarine, and some of the artistic themes, but it's different! In a good way! Evan Rachel Wood is in it, and it kind of helps that Jim Sturgess- the male lead and the guy in this video- is cute. XD

( I know it was showing in singapore a while ago, but I've only recently stumbled on it, and coincidentally also on Idina Menzel [the original broadway elphaba] mooning in Rent- I didn't know she was in rent! She rocks there, by the way.)

Browse Inside this book Get this for your site

and go here:http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/8339/4db8fa6df104decb060a885nc0.gif

it's a hilary/obama banner with a sandman reference(:

So I went to jasper fforde's website, and I found out about the Fforde Fiesta! It's like a convention for fforde fans. And then there's a teen angst poetry competition, a thursday next and nursery crime knowledge quiz, a fancy dress parade (a little like cosplay), a dance, a karaoke prose reading competition, a murder mystery gala dinner, a guided bus tour of the nextian sights of swindon, and... you get the point. *swoons* I really want to go! Just that it's from 2nd may to 5th may, and school happens to be in the way. Just for fun, I planned an itinerary! (if I happened to be able to go)

Return trip from singapore to bristol on northwest: $1500USD [$2100SGD] (arriving on 2/5 and departing on 6/5)
Return trip from singapore to heathrow on qantas: $1600SGD
Return trip from singapore to bristol on lufthansa: $2400SGD (!)

I will take= QF5 and QF3601 [singapore-frankfurt-heathrow] and QF10 [heathrow-singapore]
From heathrow to swindon, you have to take a train from Paddington Railway Station, and to get there, you can either take the 15 min heathrow express (29pounds=$80.40SGD for a return ticket) or the underground (4pounds=$11.10SGDx2=$22.20). I'll probably take the underground, though this will take an hour or so; and I have to carry my stuff up and down platforms, which is a little tiresome. But you get to hear mind the gap! XD I'm such a sucker for these references.
from paddington to swindon by rail it's $17.50 pounds=$48.50SGD for a return ticket.

=so far, I can see a lot of breaks in my journey. it's like sg-heathrow-paddington-swindon- place of accomodation, and then back the same way. I like travelling on trains though; because I don't usually do that. For a more direct route, they recommend renting a car and taking a 1 1/2 hour drive from heathrow directly to the hotel, but I can't drive): if we went in a large group, we could hire a bus, and that would make travelling a lot faster and easier. Because right now the underground trip will take an hour, and the train would take another hour, and that's not counting waiting time. =

The host hotel (De Vere Shaw Ridge) is all booked up, so I have to look for another one. The nearest available one is 2.6miles= 4.2 km from de vere, and it's the Marsh Farm hotel, a 3 star thing that costs 278pounds=$770.50SGD for 4 nights. (2/5-6/5) A full english breakfast is included, though :D Checkout time is at 10am ): which means I have some time before a flight at around 6 pm.

The ticket for the fforde fiesta costs 30 pounds=$83.10SGD

So. The total cost of my trip would be $2524.30, not including the taxi from swindon train station to Marsh Farm, and meals. Actually, I can't believe the ticket itself is so pricey! I think it includes the price of booking of the conference halls, restaurant etc. And they're booked up the entire hotel from 3/5 to 5/5, so that must cost something. If I were to stay at the hotel, it would be 320pounds for 4 nights, more expensive than Marsh Farm. But I don't know how I'm going to get myself from Marsh Farm to De Vere, when it's 4.2km. I could take a taxi, but that would add up. I wish I could drive.

And in the above estimates, I'm not considering exact travel times, because they have to synchronise, right, if I'm booking a train ticket at a specific time. What if the flight gets delayed and I miss my train? >( the complications. And then I'm the kind who gets lost very easily. I'll even forget to say, have lunch if I have to travel during that period. (I do for certain, on 6/5) I think I need someone to come and chivvy me along.

some more pictures!
congrats to all the fd comp people :D

photos! and pictures say a thousand words, right? anyhow I couldn't bear to part with these baby socks because they are so effing cute, and yingling wanted me to take pictures too! I especially like the last pair because they were in this little plastic box and they were so adorable! Plus it doesn't mean the other presents are not as good as the pink booties, really. Today I received invaluable experience in reserving dinner XD even though eventually the reservations were cancelled. more tomorrow, since there's a queue for the computer. I hardly upload pictures!

Ah. the consequences of not checking your inbox for two days. It's supposed to be a luxury, not checking your inbox. Stupid chain mails. They make you think funny things. They make you read too much into things. I almost had an anxiety attack. My chest hurt and my stomach flip-flopped, and my heart cannonballed out of my chest. I am now dead, technically, since my heart escaped. Or did I have an out-of-body experience? Today my internal editor is sunbathing in Waikiki, hence the crap.

Let's see. My chest still hurts, and I am recovering quite slowly. I hate this week, because math assignments are due tomorrow and I'm still recovering from chinese new year bloatedness. I think I just wasted the long long weekend actually. Haven't been doing any good reading either, unless the vitamin c research counts. >( the surveys are also due on tuesday. Made a wee dent in them. At least they are of varied age groups. Okay let's look at the week ahead:

monday: math assignments due. math pt things to remember.
tuesday: RS. surveys due, arguments pending
wednesday: training things due. partly cloudy.
thursday: it's you-know-when, I don't need to be reminded. k thnx bye.
friday: the end is nigh!
saturday: not quite. FD comp :D

I think I'm just being pessimistic. After all, it's week 7, and the sooner we're done with the SAs, the better. Oh and I popped the blister sustained from walking around on wednesday successfully! (With sterile equipment, duh. Be safe. Use denatured alcohol.)

Guillermo Del Toro isn't directing Deathly Hallows!!!!!!!!!! *sniffs* *whines* *is positively whimpering* WHY DOES HE HAVE TO PUT THE HOBBIT BEFORE DH??? I mean he's doing something for the hobbit instead, in 2009, which coincides with deathly hallows filming in 2010, and so he can't do it. >( WHY does the hobbit have to have a pan's labyrinth slant and not deathly hallows? DH is so much darker, more emotional and complex than the hobbit. I mean not that they're comparable in terms of literary value, but the hobbit is so not worth guillermo.

havent been blogging in ages, but it's just that I've been busy with something else :D which is more satisfying than writing entries. okay for 15 whole minutes, just to make a post, I'm just going to type what comes into my head. and it starts now!

I don't know whether to go back to nanyang this year or not. I haven't been back since sec one (or two). I don't think the teachers remember me anyway. But it's just that these people from p6 2004 are going for a gathering and stuff. And on half days I always only make plans on the day before/ day itself, so things end up clashing or I end up not going anywhere, both of which are not very ideal situations. So this time I should make plans in advance. Here are my options: with yearmates, with chele/ nat/ geeru, or with the nanyang people, who probably include jingles, cat, laura and lyn if they're back by then, shihui, or anyone else who's in her circle. But it also depends if yearmates want to have a yearmeeting or not. I can't decide! pffbt I always have to decide. It's always fun with yearmates. With chele/ nat/ geeru, I get to moan about sweeney todd or DH. And if I go with jingles, I'll get to meet nanyang people. Jeez this sounds like I'm picking sides, for goodness sake. If anyone concerned reads this, please take the preferences with a pinch of salt. Hang on. more like an entire salt shaker. This is the very reason why people don't talk about things like this on their blogs. They talk about how their day went, which is a very safe and diplomatic topic.

have decided that blogging is worth my while again!

I felt like I was being stalked. Like a deer in the headlights, I didn't see it coming.



What I think of the Elections: [Energy and Environmental Issues]

So. The republicans that I've looked up are romney and huckabee. They both want to "reduce energy dependence", i.e., reduce US dependence on foreign oil such as in Iraq. However, there is only a slight mention of alternative technology on Huckabee's part, and none at all on romney's; he even suggests offshore oil rigs as one of the solutions to the energy problem. This is very disappointing, when both candidates are not making a commitment to reduce carbon emissions, especially since the united states has relatively high emission levels, compared to countries with higher population densities. It is absatively [anansi boys!] necessary that the US takes drastic measures to reduce their carbon emissions, or the lives of all the living things on this planet will be endangered. But. this doesn't come as a surprise since those funding republicans are companies in the oil and coal industry, so OF COURSE the candidates cannot suggest for greater steps to be taken against climate change, because funding for their campaign is more important.



On the democratic side, things seem a little more optimistic, but more about them in another post. By the way, I prefer obama to win the primaries, but mum prefers clinton, partly because she is within hilary's range of supporters. (middle-aged women who are for feminism)

today was an interesting day. I'm just a little upset.

ms S P 1 c c a wanted us to write an essay about ourselves. This is what I really felt like writing:
Nicole is a common name. (at least in rgs) But I am uncommon! *cue cringe* I am interesting! witty! insightful! nice! [this word is neutral and all-encompassing] I like reading graphic novels which are actually graphic and dark. I like musicals like chicago, spamalot, the producers, wicked, spring awakening, grease, west side story, phantom, and a chorus line. I read SF! I listen to ACDC, nirvana and led zeppelin. Does this mean I'm obscure, and clever? Of course it does! Does it mean I'm obsessive? Hell yeah. Oh and by the way, I have lousy social skills. So don't talk to me, if you haven't noticed already. Did I tell you I read slash? I'm a snarry shipper! I also like exploring the dumbledore/ grindelwald relationship.

Some Things I Wrote in December:
There it was, The Tree. A gnarled, old, oak tree standing starkly against a background of azure sky. The wizened man with skin that had weathered a hundred winters was shuffling-- the result of arthritic joints. He gave a tired sigh. The end was near, and he felt it in his heart. The old man's movements were methodological and achingly slow, his breath coming in short bursts and a light film of sweat forming on his callused palms. There was a staff in his right hand, with elaborate carvings that seemed to move if you looked at it. The bottom of the staff had a carving of a birth in winter, above it, a young boy, and towards the middle of the staff, the image of the old man without a beard and with smoother skin. Right at the top of the staff was a crystal sphere, its insides filled with cloudy mist, which was forming and reforming into words and pictures. The mist was gradually coalescing into an image of the tree, in its wrinkled splendour. The old man's knees were bluckling under his own weight, even though shadows of his ribs protruded from his chest, and loose skin gathered around his knees and elbows. The knees finally gave way, and he fell, to the ground, crawling the last couple of yards to the tree's roots.

What Have I Read Lately?

not many fics. um Are We There Yet by David Levithan. The latest artemis fowl book and I forgot what it's called - nat don't kill me! um. um. reading the ibsen plays now, for lit. Will probably be reading the collection of short stories next, the one that sihui says is horrible. Things don't look very optimistic, don't they? But will probably be going to the library tomorrow to return the book I found at the bottom of the book/paper pile on my desk. I might be stocking up, because of the 8-book allowance, but might wait till the 31st to take full advantage of it. XD and I don't think I can stop myself from reading newly-borrowed books when I'm supposed to be reading the lit things. BECAUSE it is vital that I read the lit books well beforehand so that I know what's going on in lessons. sheesh this sounds very unlike me but it is imperative that I get a reasonable gpa, after the mess of last year. It's difficult not to carry emotional baggage over though, even though I'm not supposed to.

I stood someone up the other day, and now I think that someone is standing me up to take revenge. Which is well-deserved.

My butt hurts from sitting on the worn seat. *shifts paradigm* I have internet access today, complete with skype! Can't wait for training on monday, haven't had one in a long time. :D happy. haha I'm getting less and less eloquent as the post goes on.

it's the first day of school! and a long time since I've last posted because mum still hasn't called up the internet people. Facebook is very addictive. School today was uninteresting. I have made a dent in marking! One more person till everyone has taken it. Can't wait for thursday afternoon. Looking forward to ugly betty at 8pm and 1am. Not looking forward to math next week. Looking at the mess the study has become.

See! I can be succinct if I want to.

p.s. I think there are more important things than blogging, even though I just want to say that Are We There Yet by David Levithan is fluffy, but not in a bad way.

hello(: this is my first post since I came to trinity but it's already the second last day of the programme. I guess its because I've had to much fun! no actually I only use the computer for msn, mugglenet, orson scott card, neil gaiman and freerice.com
I am so physically unfit! The last time I did any significant physical activity it was during tcamp, which was a month ago. I had rockclimbing this morning, and did... 2 and a half walls. My upper arms got tired really quickly, and so did my legs. meep. Will this mean I won't be able to do evac silver? Okay I shan't say this because yingling will get angry XD I think theory is okay-ish, and silver methods aren't as bad at bronze.
I miss yearmates! But I don't want to go home either. Because I like the lessons here, especially the creative writing, drama and sustainable future. Oh and the freedom to do whatever you want- I mean I am not made to do homework. I actually brought homework with me! And I did some okay... last week. I have to finish my tuition homework. And finish the library books that I brought along because they are due on the 18th. I left asimov's second foundation in a friend's room >( and she had to bring it back for me. WHY have I been so forgetful lately?! right there are other people looking over at my blogging, though by right I should not mind people looking over sine the whole world will be able to look when I'm done.

I live such a mundane experience. Am currently reading Mapping Human History by Steve Olson. It's taking me really long though >< style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">The realm of possibilities by David Levithan, which is love love love, and therefore I Love Levithan. Luscious, Lascivious, Lovely, Levithan. Go Read! and it's not just a gay book. It has glbt too, but THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS. GO READ LEVITHAN.

At school (again) because I needed some social interaction, besides talking to my sister, maid, parents, grandparents and grandaunts. I need to talk to someone my own age! Face to face. I didn't find the social interaction I craved, as I came outrageously, i.e. 1 hour, late. whoops. I mean the computer and telephone are wonderful technological marvels, but I need to see people. In the flesh. There aren't many people at school either, besides some juniors.

On another note, I'll be seeing a lot of people my age next week when I'm going for the trinity college summer programme thing. From 28/11- 16/12. So don't dial my home number, because I won't be there, and don't dial my handphone number unless you want to have long-distance bills. Messaging is okay, though(: as is email. I'm fairly sure I'll have internet access over there.

I. am. running out of things to say. If I miss youtube enough, I might go to the place in balestier tomorrow, pay $2, and check my email one last time. I hope there will be computers with internet in the airport, because I'll be spending an entire day travelling (12hrs) with nothing to do. My sister has kidnapped my mp3 player, and is hogging the nano, so I'll probably bring a cartload of books on the plane. I wishwishwish I had a kindle D:

decided to separate this from the kindle post because it would make that long and difficult to read.

right. oh more about tcamp, since you're swinging by: I think the last minute proposaling was very very worth it(: and the agonizing. [okay no more comment till later]

I am very proudly doing this on a school computer, because the internet at home got cut off :( the last time I had access to the internet was when I went to this internet cafe at balestier[sp?] shopping centre, which charged only $2 when I went for one and a half hours :D because the other place near city hall- something called stamford court- charges $3.50 an hour. You can't do gaming there though; not that they block it; but it's a house rule I think. haha does havencitystories count? Though admittedly it's getting boring. Why go to a cafe when you can go to school, you might ask. I can youtube to my content at the cafe, and I don't have to wear a uniform.

oh dear. I am sounding boring. Lately I've read-- A Haunted House by Charles Dickens, which was quite funny actually, but difficult to finish because of the language. Then I moved on to The Right Attitude To Rain by Alexander Mccall Smith, which started out longwinded and boring, but turned out to be quite a pleasurable read, and I'm glad chele recommended it to me.

I identify more with the protagonist, isabel dalhousie, a 38 year old philosopher, than with vicky austin, a teen, from the madeline l'engle books. This is very strange. Does it mean that I'm old?? Vicky Austin is someone that I would like to be, but she isn't a very realistic ideal of what I could be-- do you get that? Whereas Isabel Dalhousie is someone whose doubts I can identify with more. For a woman in her late thirties, you would expect her to be more sure of the decisions she makes, and of what she does, but she thinks life is filled with complexities and is sometimes insecure-- more like how I feel, actually. Because I'm writing this from the perspective of a young person, I still think most adults are confident, decisive people who know exactly what they want and what to do, so I don't expect isabel to behave like this. *rephrases* I am childish. Perhaps vicky is just not as emo as I am, even though the doubts she expresses are lesser than Dalhousie's in depth.

JEEZ I am not doing this properly. Right. Vicky is a thoughtful, precocious adolescent, and I should be thinking like her, but I don't. Isabel is a contemplative, almost dreamy middle-aged woman, but I think a lot like her. See? isn't that easier? No wonder I suck at english.

oooh I really have got to plug this: a kindle! it's this portable electronic reading device, that lets you store books, magazines, newspapers and rss feeds. (blogs) You download reading material from amazon.com, (paid for, of course) and then you can read it on your kindle, whenever and wherever you want! It's a great thing for people like geeru/ sydney/ crystal who can polish off books quite quickly, and you don't have to carry around a library of books just to keep yourself occupied. Say you're going on a long plane ride, or a holiday. It would be really easy just to download any book you wanted to catch up on, and read it on the kindle. You wouldn't have to limit the number of books you want to read to the number you can comfortably carry. It's like an ipod, just for books. And when you want to download more, or update your rss feeds, you don't have to connect it to your computer; it has this wireless system that doesn't depend on wi-fi called whispernet, which means you can get your updates wherever you are! [and even if you don't have working internet like me right now>( ]

the catch: it costs a whopping $400USD! Which converts to approximately $600SGD. *sigh* and it's not very pretty either :( Since you have to download and pay for every book you put on it, you have to own a credit card or have reasonable finances just to acquire a sizable amount of reading material. *awaits the day they make this work in libraries* You also can't whip out a book to share with a friend becauseall the books are stored in one device- unless they could make it infrared and you could send a book from one device to another...? Though people are worried about this infringing copyright laws.

ooh there's something very very important I have to announce to the world at large: I made vegan cookies! okay vegetarian because I'm not sure if the chocolate chips had milk solids or not. but still! I used melted olive oil margarine and soymilk :D and used isa's recipe from the post punk kitchen. (google it!) and they were good! right I think they're good because I made them XD but my yearmates ate them... and left 2 in the box. They were of a cake-y consistency and very soft, but very ugly, because the recipe said "drop" the batter on the cookie sheet but the batter was too gooey to drop, so I kind of squashed them on. Plus I wanted to make bigger, but fewer cookies to save time, so the cookies were very chunky and chocolate-chip laden. I used all-purpose flour instead of wholewheat, because the recipe said "oat flour" but I couldn't find that, until I realised that wholewheat was more or less the same thing. I can't wait to do something else! yumyum. I know chele had successful blueberry muffins (with fresh blueberries!) and andrea's banana chocolate cupcakes were really good... but I want to do something vegan, like vegan cupcakes.

right tcamp is over, and I suppose you'll be looking for something on that. I don't really want to say anything here (haha) because I don't want people to misunderstand things. But I enjoyed it a lot! Because the juniors really learnt stuff, and I learnt quite a bit myself. But if you check back later I might say more, after talking it over. (some more) >< but *** was a disaster *rants*

I might not update as often, because the internet at home isn't working and I'm at school now. but I still have to mark things at home, meep.

*sigh* we're going to get the progress reports tomorrow, and there's a nil chance of that school/ college place thing accepting me once they see it. I mean, even maddy gaiman, gets, I quote, an "impressive report card". I feel very inferior. This also means, as everyone knows, I have to work doubly hard in the holidays. (I always say this, don't I? scroll down for proof.) I found out lately that defeatist is a real word! oh dear.

I HATE the fact that I read so slowly. I mean geeru can read 2 terry prachetts a day. After school. Charisse read DH in 6 hours. I got it on saturday morning and was only sobbing on sunday night and finishing off the rest on monday morning, in time for sihui to borrow it. And take something quite recent-- Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen-- I started this tuesday afternoon, and was only done wednesday afternoon. It's not even moderately thick! (although the font is small) I mean in primary school I used to be able to polish off books of this thickness in an afternoon, and now I take an entire day. >( I think I have selective memory, heh. I take so long to read because I pause in between for breaks to take my mind off reading and taking in information to think about the issues involved and how I feel about the book. I think I only finished Water for Elephants this quickly to return it to sydney so I can get what she calls "the gay book" from nat. Gosh I don't even think those two events are remotely related. *groans* That's another reason why I take so long-- I lose focus! I stop and think about something else while reading the paragraph at the same time and then I forget entirely what I've read in the time I got distracted, and I have to reread the paragraph. Actually this happens only when I read some books, like asimov, or the non-fiction bio things that crystal once recommended. But still! It happened during the class party today when I was trying to read wicked, and usually I keep my focus when I read fantasy books. But of course it IS kind of difficult to concentrate when nice music is in the background(:

(/random: I think wicked [the book] has more sex in it than necessary, and suspect gregory maguire did it just to keep it in the adult, not junior fiction section. *is evil because I've only read a couple chapters*)

Personal Statement

I would like to join the Trinity College Summer Schools because I wish to increase my knowledge of humanities and to hone my writing skills. Even though I take three science subjects, it would make me an all-rounded learner to enroll in the Creative Thinking Summer School. The writing, critical thinking and planning skills taught will not only help me in my humanities subjects, but also in subjects such as English, Biology and Chemistry. These skills are invaluable in life, and might prove to be useful in my tertiary education. I am especially interested in the “Learning for a Sustainable Future” subject of the Creative Thinking stream, as I believe climate change will most affect the youth of the future and its effects can only be countered by sustainable energy and also political power. Currently at school, the concept of environmental change is very rarely discussed in lessons, and student-initiated environmental projects manage to persuade only a fraction of the school population. It would be fascinating to think about the possibilities that would arise if we did or did not consider the effects of climate change at work, in school or at home.
This year I participated in a Current Affairs Competition as part of the Red Cross Youth, which is my extracurricular activity at school. The information I learnt in preparation for this competition would come in handy when I learn about the political aspect of the Creative Thinking Stream, as the competition was on disaster preparedness.
I am also very attracted to creative writing and literature, and these interests coincide with the electives offered in the programme. I hope, in the course of this programme, to make creative writing and literature more than just my interests, and for them to be part of the knowledge and skills essential for adult life.

go forth and multiply! [it] I really don't mind if you copy, because I wrote this in 15 mins, and it isn't meant to be award-winning, so. I am highly ashamed of myself because I was supposed to finish this yesterday and I'm only done with it after wasting time playing around on the internet. feel free to r&r.

Neverwhere review! (the bbc tv series)

Even though I've only watched a couple episodes from the first few episodes, I don't really like it. I think there's a dvd version of it somewhere, the cover of which neil gaiman was plugging, and I have a feeling he didn't really like the tv version. Even though I like neverwhere a lot, (hence the rereading) the tv version isn't very representative of the book. The user who posted it on youtube even said it was "short-lived".
Firstly, in the book Richard Mayhew is supposed to have a slight scottish accent, in the show it isn't just 'slight'; it's rather heavy, to the point where it sometimes becomes difficult to understand. Maybe it's just me, being not used to various british accents and all, but I think for the show to be accessible to a wider audience the actor playing Richard has to speak clearer.
I quite like the casting of Mr Croup, though, and his voice; he rolls his Rs! And is malevolent :D When I was reading the book I imagined croup and vandemar to sound like snape or morpheus (in the matrix, not sandman) and the guy play Mr. Croup sounds like that!
Though vandemar has the wrong clothes because he looks like someone from Law and Order, back in the 90s, with a white shirt and suspenders, of all things. Speaking of costumes, the Marquis has this cloak (okay) a white flappy shirt (okay) a glittery vest (passable) and khaki pants that look like ballet tights. First things first. Ballet tights are perfectly acceptable on dancers, and serve a functional purpose. But the Marquis doesn't dance, and so they do not have a functional purpose. [right. stupid argument.] I suppose the producers tried to go for the tudor tights-and-bloomers look, but it doesn't work out! I feel like the Marquis is going to do a grande jete any moment, and pirouette arrogantly around richard, who can neither dance nor act.
I think I'm quibbling. The tv series was first aired in 1996, and they had different fashion trends then (the person playing door wears biker boots) and probably different lighting trends then too. The lighting in the series looks over the top, with most of the croup/vandemar scenes in green, and angel islington scenes in red. Oh dear. maybe it's just the video quality. I wouldn't mind just listening to the audio part; it would do very well as an audiobook, thought that rather defeats the purpose of having a tv show.

I haven't been posting for a long time, and now I should be doing something else.

I suppose I should say where I went after the eoys, as everyone seems to be talking about that on their blogs. Nat, michele and I went to kino, yoshinoya, Wh, body shop, gramophone, and borders. There. Done. I said it.

That sounded unusually off-hand and arrogant. But I don't feel like recounting everything because it is tiresome. Lately I've been avoid all things that require physical exertion. I've also been sleeping a lot, moving slowly, and consuming vast amounts of junk, and therefore I am sloth-like. I'm spending half my time on the computer doing stupid things, looking for work to do, and putting it (the work) off. I should be getting my butt off the ground and doing my personal statement and corraling logs but no I'm currently made little or no progress on both of those things. I'm making myself more miserable as I write this. Miserable like wallowing-like-a-hippo miserable. Not that eoy results help, though.

I think I'm satisfied, but not happy with, bio, chem and chinese zuowen, but not much else. I don't think mum would be satisfied with anything, and there is a very high chance I would be retained. I should also spend my post-eoy time revising things, so I don't get too lost next year. I can't get lost next year because it's the last chance I'll get to shove/nudge/heave my gpa up. I think I said that at the beginning of this year too as well.

Ooh I’m using a mac and this is a neat font :D didot, I believe it’s called. Right now I’m supposed to be studying for bio so I’ll do the genetically modified food part now and then 10 year series and maybe math at home. Actually it would be more appropriate for me to do this on the class computer; it’s kind of impolite to do it here. I’m trying not to have to use the computer at home, because it usually ends up in me playing hcs or doing something just as counterproductive. Although right now is a good time to attack people on hcs, because most irritating players are having their exams now, i.e. the “fear me” people. So they’re terribly loaded and no one else is online to attack me, which makes it very convenient to… farm gold. As you can see, I’m pretty obsessed. And I shouldn’t be!

I think because I talk a lot about obscure [?} okay not obscure, it’s just that people in my school aren’t into these things. Right I have to finish my sentence. Relatively obscure books/ musicals/ movies etc, I come off as being geek. Wait no I think crying one’s eyes out for dobby’s death practically confers geek status. And sometimes people equate being geek to being hardworking… and I very sadly confess that I’m not. ): It’s kind of sad that a lot of people don’t read. Take for example, my sister. She refuses to read anything that I enjoyed as a kid and instead gravitates toward things like the princess diaries and other things in that genre. Though I’m being selfish here, because I cannot impose my choice of reading material onto my sister, because she likes biographies: think Chinese Cinderella, and I don’t.

I sound very horribly like someone else. I ALWAYS sound like someone else, without even trying >:( remember last year I said I subconsciously was writing like N.G., or maybe even charisse--now I’m writing the way someone talks. I don’t even have my own writing style! Or rather, blogging style. Some people say this happens most when you’re reading other people’s writing and come off sounding like the person you’re reading, just because you are so influenced by that person.
I don’t think I’ll have a conclusion today, or end it properly, because I didn’t write conclusions for lit and I feel kind of sad): I sound like a blue frog. Or the frog that is blue. It’s time to finish because I’ve reached the end of the page, what with the wide page borders. “So long, farewell, aufwiedersehn goodbye.” * cue music *

Someone is having a private-ish conversation in a not so private place. I will resist the temptation to earwig.

I don't know what to talk about. recently I don't know what's come over me. I don't think I'll pass physics. or math. or bio. oh dear. I shall have to be expelled, since the chances of me passing philo are kind of low too. And physics is the subject that many people pass. My gpa is out of sight already (the wrong way) and so now you can very clearly see I'm ranting. Everytime the eoys come around, I have this impending feeling of doom, but this time the feeling is so encompassing and it's worse than past years. But I think the best thing to do right now (so close to the exams) is to work really really hard, so today I will try not to fail lit tomorrow.

I was browsing through neil gaiman's blog, and it says he's with the bbc world service, recording anansi boys! I mean even though anansi boys wasn't his best novel, I am very much looking forward to listening to it :D Because it will be broadcast on the world service! i.e. in Singapore as well. Plus I hardly get the chance to listen to audio books; they're expensive and I don't have premium membership so I can't borrow them from the library. The use of excessive exclamation marks very clearly shows that I am excited; haha and plugging again. It says 17 november 07, so I'm marking that date on the calendar. ohoh and 17th nov is a saturday, so it most probably will the airing at around 4-5pm local time, because that's when they have BBC world drama on. So tune in to 88.9fm at 4pm on 17th november people, for anansi boys : )

I sound like an annoying tv ad.

hi :D oh and correction: harry cannot be compared to esther, primarily because one is female and the other male, and secondly, they both have wildly differeing personalities, so.

What would make for universal and interesting reading would be book reviews: I've read Foundation by Issac Asimov and I'm halfway through From the Dust Returned, by Ray Bradbury. And I've (only just -_-") discovered that From the Dust Returned is a novel version of the picture book, the Haunting. (which I talked about a few posts ago) They're due on friday though, so I think I'll return them and borrow them at a later date to finish. Plus there are ONLY 2 translated versions of the play Spring Awakening in the Reference Library (grr.) and that means I can't borrow them or anything, which also means I'll probably have to go there for a couple hours after the eoys to read it on the spot. I like the translated full-length plays! because the musical is kind of lacking in dialogue-- how much can you fit in 2-3 hours, what with all the songs and dramatic moritz monologues. But I'm just quibbling, because I wouldn't have liked it so much without the songs. The text plays explain a lot that is not said in the musical, and you get to analyse a bit, when you stare at the page for a while. Urgh I don't like fangirling on my own; you don't have anyone to argue with/ extol merits of various songs.

There's something very very pressing in my mind and I hate hate it and I want it to go away so I ignore it, but it refuses to wish itself off. It's not homework or anything academically-related, because those problems are MUCH easier to solve. (I did math filing yesterday!) Whining isn't a very good thing to do. I have also discovered that I am angsty, seeing from harry's characterisation in Underwater Light by maya. I should focus on the things most important (i.e. the eoys) and not on anemone problems, however prominent they are. Because! it is vital that I don't fail anything this time, or my gpa will be more screwed than it already is.

It's kind of quiet here, at not peak-ish hours. I like it when it's quiet because you don't have other people looking over your shoulder (actually this shouldn't matter because a blog is public anyway) or hovering over you, waiting to use the computer. I haven't been writing properly for ages, so maybe that's why my language is... somewhat different from what I was writing before. I'm using non-committal words! Which implies that I am non committal as well, which is NOT GOOD, and not what potential employers are looking for.

I feel so idealistic, thinking about employers and jobs. It's not like I'm going to be really efficient and send in my resume to everyone who doesn't ask for O levels, (quite a few, when I went to look) but it's just that I would like a WEP that I'm going to look for myself. You know what, if you knew me irl, you would know that I don't really mean what I said. No, scratch that. I mean what I say but I won't actually do it-- take the proposed potter party, for example. I have big stupid lofty ideas but not the exact plans to do them, you know. Which will ultimately be my downfall, though "The last enemy that shall be conquered is death." Okay that last quote was really random, and not very appropriate, but I just want to show off that I remember it. Haha that last statement was REALLY tactful. Tactful is the wrong word! but you kind of ish understand me, right?

This post is going nowhere, I just felt like blogging and I did it! Just like yingling, who feels like blogging every week or so, and does it. Only my posts aren't as enlightening or philosophical, and of course you know I fib a lot. Sometimes I think writing things down and recording things is very useful, because it helps me think through things slooowly, because when I think things out in my head I go from point A to B to F, and I skip a lot of things on the way as a result. I don't... think it thouroghly enough, or in depth, but I go very far in breadth, which resulted in comparing myself to wormtail, and harry to *cough*esther*cough*.

Today's post wasn't about anything in particular, and I am assured by the fact that orson scott card doesn't exactly keep on topic either, on the "Uncle Orson Reviews Everything" section on his website. Okay now a lot of the computers are occupied and I suppose I have to scram. Making the font size 6 prevents people from seeing what you are really doing, which is a great, but not foolproof thing for shared computers.

Actually I posted the last post on sept 7th, not monday sept 3rd--- I wrote the post on monday, switched the computer off, and thanks to blogger's amazing autosave, monday's post was saved and I didn't have to write an entirely new one on friday. (I think it was most likely really late thursday night)

anyway, people seem to be posting quite regularly, and I feel guilty. (that includes neil gaiman and Viva La Vegan) But! seeing as I never keep my promises, I don't think blogging more often will help. case in point: I promised to talk about endings and stuff in the last post, but after rigourous self-censorship, nothing has passed the test! Therefore there most likely won't be anything about things past, or maybe just a very little bit.
I can't believe I was in The Room today (for the very first time), and I just sat there, staring at everything, the floor even. I feel like such a naive idiot. This so clearly proves that I am a groupie, and that I overcomplicate things. Though most of the time talking things out helps (a lot!) and then you find you aren't the only one who frets. Thinking of it now, I think I should have seen the post coming. As in if one just uses his/her logic and powers of elimination, it kind-of-ish fits. I think yearmates expected it more that I did, although I must admit I was surprised (in a good way!) and had a slow reaction time.
Oh I remember now! I. am. so. wormtail. Think about the things we have in common! I swear I have mousey tendencies-- the voice, nose, personality. _watch for my betrayal, people._
Today is a space day. because I am writing in so incoherent sentences, I have no choice but to paragraph every sentence or two, because no two sentences connect. I mean, I don't think I am even thinking about the same thing when I start the sentence and end it. I was primarily inspired to blog today by yingling :D and one must have inspiration to blog! and so I did, and the rest is history! woot. as you can see, today I am merely crapping. The last paragraph was practically filler.
okay I must must fangirl about the producers! watch it on youtube! "Springtime for Hitler in Germany, winter in Poland and France!" "if you've got it, flaunt it" "we can do it" ooh yayness.

yay okay my keyboard works now :D turns out that the batteries I was using were the used ones -_-"

right. in relation to saturday, don't read what I said the wrong way-- I mean it in a good way. Okay not "good" but a positive way. Do you get what I mean? I think I should just not say anything out here because... everybody's been through it/ going to go through it sooner or later (it depends who you are) and the people whom I need to say things to don't have to resort to reading it here; not that I'll stop saying things here, just that [this is understood!] I'll self-censor more. And also because everyone else is more or less using their common sense, and only saying what needs to be said.

Let's talk about something interesting! i.e. my sniffles. Last thursday I had a sore throat. I hate that part of getting sick because you feel a lot of discomfort when you swallow and somehow it gets worse if the weather is warm. On friday it got really sunny and hot, so I got very warm but didn't sweat and felt feverish (and delirious) On friday night I was really considering not going for pop, heh. But I went! With more than a couple panadols. Being in a sniffy, clogged up, and head-in-the-clouds state does not do anything for your level of alertness= a really dense me. Today it didn't really get any better and I had to skip math clinic-- which I wish I wouldn't have skipped because my math gpa is practically at a sub-zero level.



Spring Awakening! I especially like [Left Behind]. It was sung at moritz's funeral, where moritz was an angst-ridden teen who committed suicide. Spring Awakening freely explores the timeless theme of teenage angst, showcasing reality in its most raw form. Adapted from a book written in 1891, it clearly shows that the tumultuous emotions that youth today feel are not just a product of media influences in the 21st century, but a product of truths one discovers along the road to self-discovery. oh, and its themes are similar to the ones in The Virgin Suicides, a book and movie which I reviewed last year.
It's currently on at the Eugene O'Neil theatre on Broadway, and has plans to start a US national tour in Fall 2008. The producers also have intentions of launching productions in London, Tel Aviv, Germany, Austria, Sydney, Spain, Japan, the Netherlands, and South Korea. The London and Sydney productions will open in 2008. So. for me to watch a live performance asap, I have to go to London or Sydney next year, or the US national tour. I've watched the entire thing already on myspacetv, but there is NOTHING like watching a musical live. rawr. maybe if I go to Sydney I'll go watch phantom too and see if anthony warhol is as good as cat extols. But it would be even better if it could go on an international tour and I could fangirl with people in person, instead of trying to squee with people living on the other side of the earth, and waiting an entire day for their responses because of the stupid time differences. I've been trying to get people to watch it on youtube/ myspacetv, but it hasn't been catching on. ): (probably because fangirling about musicals is such a geek thing to do.)


I think I'll talk about chalet and related things tomorrow because I need to ruminate, and do what sihui calls emo-ing.

I have something to say! Something revolutionary! Something which has never been disclosed to the public! Something to do with onions, dartboards, and meerkats!

Unfortunately, this is not the place to say it, and probably not mine to say. HAHA. *compares self with rita skeeter* Speaking of Skeeter, life would be a hell of a lot easier if I were as thick-skinned as she is. Then I wouldn't wallow, be poseur-goth or immature. For some reason a part of me thinks I just put the opening paragraph there to make people read this potentially long-winded post, because everyone knows deep inside what I am going to say anyway, and would believe it better if it came from the mouth of a different person.

sorry my keyboard died --i'm using the onscreen one--will continue with working keyboard

more than two weeks since I've last posted! I should do this more regularly. I think I promised a lot (book reviews, etc) haha so I suppose I have to pay my debts.

oh recently I've read The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury, and it's good! I mean I've never read ray bradbury before, despite the fact that many writers strongly recommend it. It's generally a collection of short stories in the SF genre, (squee!) written in the 1950s. It's interesting to see what people think would happen 50 years in the future, 50 years ago. I am kind of attached to fiction written/ set in the late 20th century, because it's sometimes kind of romantic [in the frankenstein way] and carries a sense of nostalgia. Things happened more slowly then, without the conveniences of the internet and mobile phones. Although I technically can't feel nostalgic about things that happened before the 90s because I wasn't born then, there is a greater sense of relation and identity than novels set in today's context.
And then I found out that Dave Mckean[sp?] did a collaboration with Ray Bradbury to illustrate The Homecoming, which got my stamp of approval(: Dave did lots of collaborations with Neil Gaiman in writing the Sandman series, the cover illustration for Coraline, the movie Mirrormask and the children's book, The Wolves in the Walls. The Homecoming is meant for children, yet is dark and beautifully haunting. The blurb goes so far as to call it whimsical; but I prefer to be cool and say it's gothic. XD (it does have gothic elements)

"And my junk is you" -Thea, from Spring Awakening