It's so HARD not to blog. Really.

So today I went to BooksActually to see Chris Pash, and it turns out I was the only customer who went *just* to see him/ hear him talk about his book. Sad times. Anyway, as I was paying for pooky's SECRET PRESENT, I spot a Who Killed Amanda Palmer atop a shelf.

ME: how much is that book?
BOOKEEPER: --insert weird look-- Um, it's $250. A signed copy. (it is all too obvious that I cannot pay for it.)

But. But. I want a WKAP so bad! *cries*

And when I start asking mr. Chris Pash for an autograph, he talks about his book. Because I am rendered speechless by this opportunity-- I had been creeping around quite suspiciously in close proximity-- he starts using handsigns/ gestures very liberally and mimes out "talking" and "thinking" and "reporters"! The way you would speak to someone who doesn't understand english.

And he remembers my name! Because he signed for only one other couple, who happened to be on the flight with him to singapore. *is starstruck* After that my heart was beating so fast and I was so excited but I had to restrain myself, because it is not socially appropriate to scream at a person. He went "Be sure to add me on facebook!"

He had to do a lot of ridiculous self-promotion though, i.e. say to every person at the counter: "Why don't you read this book? It's a really good book by Mr Chris Pash-- he's a great writer." As no one knew who the hell he was. I think it's also because I haven't seen The Last Whale in mainstream bookstores, so he has to try to promote himself as best as he can, to sell anything. Now I'm more forgiving towards Wena Poon for taking any chance she can get to get her book out there. It's hard to be an author these days.

But honestly? The Last Whale appears to many potential book-buyers as the typical tree-hugger diatribe. The one-sided "green" argument that is becoming cliched. I only bought the book because there were mentions of Bob Hunter and his hippie friends (book is set in the 70s), and their crazy attempts to stop the whale chasers. It's very rare that you see people so passionate about their cause, and so willing to sacrifice their effort and energy to decrease worldsuck. The book is very inspiring, in that effect.

I've also gotten to know more about how the "stop whaling" process goes, because there are many causes that people are contributing to right now, especially in schools as part of CIP, but usually nothing comes out of these awareness campaigns. I'm really impressed that they have achieved a consensus. The conservation process is a lot more than protesting and yelling about; real change comes when you get the attention of policymakers, and seek to communicate with the whalers themselves, to see where they're coming from.

Sometimes though, the tactics they used to get media attention strangely resemble those used in reality TV (balloon boy, anyone?). Such is the nature of real world? One part of me is surprised/ ashamed that they stooped so low, and the other part of me accepts the fact that there is no other way to make your voice heard with today's sensationalised media.

Chris Pash did an event at swf too, but reception there wasn't too good either. It was an amazing coincidence that I went to see him talk, because during that timeslot there wasn't an event at the Chamber, and I just happened to crash his event. Julian and Loki were there too, most likely. heh though they/ other swf people probably don't read this.

Shall I put up a picture of my signed book? YES.


Slowly but surely, I will learn the Code of Fangirling Conduct.

You know, people, *delirious look* I think I have fallen in love.... with the interwebs.

I like how it brings people together! Like um the tessaract? OH, bosh. all of you have read A Wrinkle In Time, right? And there's this part where one of the Mrs Ws takes the end of her dress, stretches it out and goes: "Ok this is linear time and space, where the fastest way between two points is a straight line." and then she puts two corners together and goes: "And this is a tessaract."

Obviously I don't have it word for word, but you get the gist.

Today is a wondrous day, my friends, because Maureen FREAKING Johnson and Sarah Rees Brennan @replied me on twitter! Finally, a reward for staying up till ungodly hours and ridiculously monitoring my twitter feed. This is just like the time jbdazen replied my comment. Ah, the days.

Oh dear. I get happy whenever I get to have contact with someone famous. Like the time I almost fainted in joy when Amanda Palmer opened with "Creep", and it reminded me of a very special moment that I couldn't pin down... until I rediscovered this:

oh dear oh dear I am beginning to sound like the girl in "Oasis":

When I got to the party
They gave me a forty
And I must've been thristy 'cause I drank it so quickly
When I got to the bedroom
There was somebody waiting
And it isn't my fault that the barbarian raped me

When I went to get tested I brought along my best friend Melissa Mahoney
Who had once been molested
And she knew how to get there
She knew all the nurses
They were all really friendly, but the test came back positive Uh-oh

I've seen better days but I don't care
Oh, I just sent a letter in the mail

When I got my abortion I brought along my boyfriend
We got there an hour before the appointment
And outside the building
There were all these annoying fundamentalist Christians
We tried to ignore them Oh oh

I've had better days but I don't care
Oasis got my letter in the mail

When vacation was over
The word was all over
That I was a crack whore
Melissa had told them
And so now we're not talking
Except we have tickets
To see Blur in October and I think we're still going and oh, oh

I've seen better days but I don't care
Oh, I just got a letter in the mail
Oasis sent a photograph
It's autographed and everything
Melissa's gonna wet herself I swear

I'm quite sure I don't need an abortion though. The last time I checked.
[/random] I used to have a best friend called Melissa! But back then we were too small to know what "crack whore" meant, so it's fine.

oh. And I have this hysterically weepy/ fangirly entry on swf, neil gaiman, amanda palmer and all that. Just that I haven't the time (due to project work, the BMAT) to finish it up yet, and upload the photos. Although they are all on facebook, should you care to view them. When I post it it's going to seem like I had a month-long hangover, but really I'm just popping it in the oven and attending to it when I have the time. I.E. you will see it when it gets done. Eventually.

THE THING about teen angst is that it makes for horrible blogposts.
You are embarrassed after you write a poem/ song/ blog entry about it.

But it when you are in the midst of it, it feels like the most important thing in the world at the moment, and you have to document it. When you see someone else talking about it too, you think: "oh my gosh we have a deep connection-- I am not the only one!"

And in some ways, you are reassured by it because being capable of emotion is part of being human.

Ok, that's enough excuses to validate what is going to follow.

crudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrudcrud

1. I can't go to melbourne; they cancelled the trip.
2. It is so frustrating communicating with some people.

These are really dumb things to be angry over.

In the words of ms hayleyghoover:

"So as much as I'm dying to spew my guts about the mean, awful, terrible thing one of my good friends did to me this weekend, I cannot. Because, for one, I have no real way of knowing who's going to see this, and for two, this blog entry will outlive my hurt feelings. I could preserve my current fury in a blogosphere time capsule, and it would make me feel better for a day or two... but eventually, I'm going to unhate him and regret that decision. And it SUCKS."

Today I realised to make friends on teh interwebs, you have to comment/ @reply/ talk A LOT. or you know, they won't reply back. I have realised after being on youtube for a year! (cue cheers) technically it's a year and a week now, I think, after little nicole put up her very first edited video. Now I'm 27 videos in and going strong :D That averages to about 2 videos a month. YAY.


Honestly I'm the kind of web user who will ~lurk for ages and not post/ comment anything significant for fear of posting something wrong or saying something that's lame. It's the same thing with speaking.

As I'm writing this it's 10pm Monday, November 2nd.I've been listening to various versions of "creep"-- this one by jbdazen, this one with johnny depp in it, and this one with the fabulous amanda palmer at COACHELLA.

I can't get over seeing amanda palmer on halloween. The last time I celebrated halloween was when I was eleven and was Nearly Headless Nick. Her performance took my breath away. I had been awaiting her arrival ever since neil gaiman blogged in august about coming to singapore, and he said that amanda palmer would be coming as well, I was like: !!!! and oh my gosh. So it's been three months of waiting, and I finally got to see her it was crazy.

I wasn't a fan of her before neil gaiman talked about her doing "I Google You", though, so I didn't know her from her dresden doll days. But the wonderful mr gaiman kept on mentioning her, so I looked up her channel, watched "Oasis", and was hooked. Lately through her blog and twitter I've begun to see her as a musician based on the internet, much like Tom Milsom, Pomplamoose, and various wizard rock bands. She's been talking about the music business, about how consumers should be able to give their money straight to the artist instead of it being passed through the hands of record companies first. She also loves the power of twitter and the way it allows her to connect with fans on a more personal level. This form of communication is really amazing, because I get to know my artist and his/her beliefs, and about her gigs/ cd releases/ new songs before everyone else.

I took lots of pictures over the course of the weekend, so we'll start from the beginning.

This is an extremely blurry picture of Neil Gaiman in an event on children's literature , but mostly it was just the moderator asking general questions and fans getting to ask their burning questions. I was sitting at the back, fresh from crowd-handling as a volunteer, and it was the first time I saw him in person, so it was quite surreal.


This is from the next event, which was him and amanda palmer discussing the book and the album, Who Killed Amanda Palmer. An informative behind-the-scenes video of the creation of the book is here.


As you can tell, I'm a great photographer xD I shall attempt to explain away the shakiness by the fact that I was so excited I was trembling? But really I haven't been able to find other photos on the interwebs yet, so these will have to do. Strangely I was more enthusiastic about amanda palmer's presence than neil gaiman's, even though I've known his work longer than I've known amanda. But they are so cute together! You can tell they are really appreciative of each other in real life, which was what they've been talking about on their respective blogs lately.

There are only so many things one can be pumped about!

In the order that is in my head:

1. I am manning the same room AMANDA FUCKING PALMER will be in on the 31st of october

2. Today I witnessed the meeting of Lat, Mark Waid and Sonny Liew = Graphic Novel EXPLOSION.

3. There was a talk about the chinese literary scene in singapore, and they talked about the spectrum of human experience, and how children learning chinese should read widely and open their minds... it was amazing. I didn't know chinese writers were so awe-inspiring! Not having the opportunity to experience hardship/ separation/ 离开家乡 is not an excuse for singaporean writers to write badly. I have to read chinese books now.

4. The chartjackers song was in my head for most of yesterday. YAY to the power of the interwebs!!

5. Lea Michele singing "Defying Gravity"? Ok, honestly, WHERE ELSE will you hear that other than on Glee? They should put blake bashoff, jonathan groff or john gallagher jr. on the show next.

6. Today I met this other fangirl! Who's going for the Neil Gaiman event too!! ~exciting.

All this pumping makes me tired. Have to be up and perky tomorrow, and attempt to fit in a run between now and then D: (Because I'm going to australia for a outdoor expedition thing, i.e. climbing huge rocks.)

Ahh

I just found out through fb that two of my trinity summer school mates went to BU SUMMER. (cries) It was the one I wanted to go to but always couldn't because it's after the school holidays and I didn't want to miss school, and it was too far and the tickets too expensive etc. And my parents were worried about me travelling alone but it's not like I haven't been to a foreign country before.

(whines somemore) Pooky- it's jahnavi and avanthika-- do you remember? Go check your fb. Because I'm graduating next year so I really want to take advantage of the time left.

Ok if you don't know what BU summer is, it's here. And it's the one I whined about earlier this year and getting to see SPRING AWAKENING. I also whined about this 2 years ago, on this blog. It is clear that I am an expert at whining.

[/endwhine]

hello darlings!

Erk it's been so long since I last blogged properly that I don't know where to start.
Um.

I finished my exams today, and when I went out for lunch, I realised that I hadn't been out to eat in... 1 1/2- 2 months. So it was quite strange, walking around in a mall and planning things. It just feels so odd, having nothing pressing to do.

Before my exams I had a whole list of things I promised myself I would do, but now I don't really feel like doing anything. When I went to school for exams, socialisation was practically nil.

In my head is just: "Oh crud oh crud today's the day what if I fail what if I can't answer anything I should have looked through my work again oh crud I don't want to be in acad support again I didn't sleep much last night and I'm all jumpy now and all raw nerves dammit if I talk to somebody now I have to worry about conversation I hope I brought everything"

Worst thing is, I don't think the work I've done will pay off, because there were questions esp for chem and math that I could do, BUT I FREAKING FORGOT TO LOOK OVER THOSE TOPICS AGAIN, so I had problems with questions that I should have been able to do. It's so frustrating, to know that argh you could have done better. Admittedly I was losing focus a week before promos started, because there is so freaking much to revise, especially for bio. So it's very easy to just give up/ in and detach.

Enough ranting; a happy video.

The Kills make me want to put on eyeliner, wear black heels and cuffs.

billilovesmargot recommended it as "james bond" music, and it's because... they make you feel like you're in a james bond movie. You know, supercool attitude, glamorous dresses, fast cars.

That's all for this week! I'm off to do some ~mail quickly and then back to studying. Really really have to pass my H2s, but unfortunately for chemistry mugging plotted against marks is an exponential graph.

(i.e. the amount of studying is not equivalent to the marks you're going to get; you have to study a lot to get *some* marks... ok the graph says it a lot better than I do. Put "amount of studying" on the x-axis and "marks obtained" on the y-axis. Ruth told me this, and she is a math genius.)

Glee quote:

"Well for a while there you were kind of all over me and now you just yell at me all the time."

link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blauRjmkISQ&feature=channel
scene starts at 0:44 thereabouts.

Not... the most insightful of quotes. But, it summed things up.

OKAY. Back to binomial/poisson/ normal.

for reference: this article http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/education/article6839056.ece makes me wimper, laugh and sigh disjointedly ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

impressive!

Hello peeps!

Listening to Pomplamoose. They're having a gig with Danielle Ate the Sandwich, and this is AWESOME because they're both really accomplished musicians, and to put them together would be crazycakes. They pay attention to the lyrics, and you can tell they're writers/ read a lot etc.

It also helps that Danielle is my favorite on the tubes xD Listen to Born in the Wrong Body; the imagery and its ability to invoke your feelings is amazing.

updates?

Am filming my new video in sections because my camera's running out of memory. Actually it's because I tried to do a reenactment _and_ a lipsynch in one take and that took up most of the memory. Filmed 10s worth of video today. I should clear my memory card!

It's also because I don't have time to edit >.> because editing takes 1-2hrs in wee hours of the morning... and lately that time has been taken up by revision/ PROJECT WORK. PW is a whole other can of worms. And I think I need to pass my promos. 1 and a half more weeks and I am done.

In an attempt to put myself in a revision mood (I've been procrastinating too much lately. A few days ago I lost steam, and well... got lost in the flood of work to do, and didn't know where to start. Grumble. lost motivation. D: ) I'll dissect my progress, mostly for my own benefit, and to sort things out. This will bore you.

Math:
p&c, probability (done)
binomial poisson normal, hypothesis, correlation/regression (not done)
graphing, apgp, inequalities (done)
functions, summation (not done)

Chem:
atomic structure, chem bonding, energetics, chem eqm (done)
stoichiometry, gases, reaction kinetics (not really done)
periodicity, ionic equilibrium (not done)

Bio:
respiration, photosynthesis, viruses, dna&genomics (done)

bacteria, prokaryotes/eukaryotes, meiosis/mitosis, enzymes (half done)

carbs/lipds/proteins, cell structure, cell membrane (not done)

Lit:
horribly, horribly behind, have got to prepare questions/ remember quotes, summaries

GP:
The essay is ok, AQ is not(!) and it's very annoying. Otherwise paper 2 is fine. I think.

GLEE.

This is going to be a short one.

Have you watched the new episode of glee? I don't know--the pilot seemed so much better, right? ok maybe I'm influenced by Kayley, who didn't really like it.

The writing's surprisingly sharp, though, and funny, but it seems like the singing and humor exist for the sake of themselves? There's not much in terms of plot, and efforts to add depth to the show are very Fail, for lack of a better word. For example, they try to bring in issues like eating disorders, but it doesn't really come through because of the humor. The humor just shoots them in the foot when the writers are trying to make an argument. I mean if you want to make a joke don't try to make it serious? There are plays/ tv shows that manage issues and humor fairly well, but it's hard to balance both aspects-- just do it well or not do it at all.

And the voiceovers! Don't they remind you of Scrubs? I suppose one cannot expect too much from a public-access tv show.

When Lea Michele's character talks about the sex thing, I completely agree with the misconception and "Girls want sex just as much as guys do.", but ahh the way she brings it up is so cringey.

"Our hormones are driving us too crazy to abstain." It's so insulting, and fallacious. I mean it's not like all of us are having sex left right and center, are we?

okok I'm nitpicking now, and being cynical. The music's good, and I'll leave it at that.

Struggle.

I don't know if this is a chinese thing, but when I first saw this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnnJnIj3T90 (or lianeandthemusic's recent video) I was just thinking:

duh, life is a struggle. You're meant to struggle-- if you don't struggle what you're working hard for is not worth it. Stop wallowing and get on with it. Stop complaining.

And I don't know-- what you're taught doesn't really translate into action, I suppose. Because sometimes I feel like this too and I used to get really hung up about feeling sad and despondent, and start to wonder what I'm struggling for.

Then your parents/ teachers will tell you to stop bawling for god's sake, look at jenny--does she cry her eyes out? How are you going to compete in the future if you continue like this? Jenny's all decided about what she wants to do in life, are you? Why don't you have any ambition? Everyone else has a goal, why don't you? I'm so disappointed in you; we have spent so much time and effort into teaching you and these are the results you give me? Why didn't you try harder? If you didn't spend so much time with your friends and more time studying, you would have done better. Why did you do this? You have not only disappointed me, you have disappointed your family, school, classmates-- you are such a disgrace!

Basically the thing is to guilt-trip you until you pull up your socks.

I don't think I want to take a stand on this; I'm pretty undecided regarding educational methods and cultural differences, but I wanted to find out if the difference in opinions was significant? heh because my relatives look down on people from the states or to simplify it, angmohs (红毛鬼, a label that encompasses all caucasians), and are like: "See? Us chinese work harder, and can 吃苦 (overcome suffering). Over there they wait for the government to help them, here the government doesn't help us! See- all the smart kids are chinese or indian."

Ok bringing in Social Welfare is a whole other can of worms, but the point is that sometimes people here(?) tend to make generalisations about angmohs and in some cases they are convinced that their generalisations are correct. Take the recession, for example. Some people think that the recession happened because Americans are stupid and don't know how to be thrifty when they take loans for a house or a car that is priced way beyond their means. So this led to the sub-prime crisis.

On the other end of the spectrum, it is kind of part of the culture here to be careful with your money; people would rather stay in a flat that they can own rather than in a landed property they have to take a loan for. It's also admirable to "have a million" in your bank account and dress like someone poorer, and old people commonly turn their lights off in the day to save on electricity bills. There is a sterotype that chinese tend to be calculative, but this is not without basis when you think about confucian teachings. Almost the whole chinese culture (at least, what we get in schools) is based on the idea that hard work = success. From this stems the idea that if you don't get the prize first, other people will, and the obstacles in your life are punishment for your wrongdoings. (please, please correct me if I'm wrong)

just watched history boys, and its is *swoons* lovely.

The writing! Is just incredible, and really sharp and witty. There's the screenplay of it somewhere (it exists on amazon) so I'll go look for it.

The big themes are education and coming of age, but what really stood out for me was love. If one really wanted to do this systematically, there's lust between dakins/fiona, yearning in posner/dakins and tension~ in irwin/dakins. See? All the romantic relationships practically revolve around dakins, and rightfully so-- he is smouldering.

Irwin is this temp. teacher, by the way, who comes to tutor the boys on how to write clever essays for the oxbridge admissions exams.

The writing was so amazing that I had to stop and rewind some parts, especially towards the end with irwin/dakins, and irwin is so... shy and blushy and bowled over. (I almost typed "blowed over". Anyway.) And dakins is like: "you know you want me". But I can't believe irwin is such a wuss like that! He's practically melting when dakins promises him a date.

Though. At some points it's hard to see beyond the comedy and into the serious stuff. Or rather at some points these are hard to differentiate. Especially with dakin, you don't really know whether he's taking anything seriously. You don't even know where is alliances lie.

Obviously in these things the characters do not have a definite sense of morality, so I don't know why this new york times review said that

"This is a work in which the most likable and, by the play's standards, most moral figure is an obese English teacher who regularly swats his students in class and fiddles (to use the euphemism of choice) with the more attractive of them after school."

I mean morality in these things is not even a question. The history boys isn't meant to be moralistic; it's meant to show things the way they are/ were and explore the relationship between a teacher and his students. For those who haven't seen it, hector (the "obese English teacher") and his groping isn't taken seriously. There are certain doubts, like "how will I deal with it if he feels me up?" But mostly the boys think it's all a joke, a slight inclination the English Teacher happens to have; they respect him for his opinions and teachings all the same.

Granted, the NYT was reviewing the stage play, and I've only watched the movie.

But the love! (posner has for dakin) Is so endearing and sweet and... *swoons again*.

[SCRIPPS has just seen POSNER swooning over dakin]

SCRIPPS: Love can be very irritating.
POSNER: How do you know?
SCRIPPS: It's what I always think about God; he must get so pissed off, everybody adoring him all the time.
POSNER: Yes. Only you don't catch God poncing about in his underpants.

[Cut to this scene of POSNER singing]

And then there's this scene between posner and hector after that, and they talk about literature:

HECTOR: Lost boy though he is, on the far side of the world, he still has a name.
(On Hardy) A saddish life, though not unappreciated. "Uncoffined" is a typical Hardy usage. It's a compound adjective, formed by putting "un" in front of a noun. Or verb, of course. Unkissed, unrejoicing, unconfessed, unembraced. It's a turn of phrase that brings with it a sense of not sharing. Of being out of it, whether because of diffidence or shyness. But a holding back. Not being in the swim. Can you see that?

POSNER: Yes, sir. I felt that a bit.

HECTOR: The best moments in reading are when you come across something -- a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things-- that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else. A person you've never met, maybe even someone long dead. And... it's as if a hand has come out and taken yours.

The first part, the "un" bit, you can't help but feel sorry for posner and hector alike, who both have something/ someone they really want but who won't reciprocate their affections (in posner's case) or something they can't have. (being openly gay, in hector's case. He is married.)
And I don't have to mention that the reading quote has its own inherent value.

I would love to see the History Boys performed live, only there aren't any tours in my area. Will see. If you want to watch it, I watched it off youku. It's also nc16 for all those legal people who want to buy/ borrow it ^^

EDIT: I want to buy the soundtrack! The 80s songs they use as background are great, as is samuel barnett's Bewitched and Bye Bye Blackbird.

YAY! the proper layout is back! ^^ hip, hip HOORAY.

This song by pomplamoose is appropriate for the situation.

Dinner for two lost its taste
When I embraced
All of your leftover bait
And I wish we had never gone stale
But who could tell
Your expiration date
Oh Id like to get over
Id like to get over you

School is helping. Loads. Massively.

Chemistry practical tomorrow, which is 7.5% of our ALevel grade, and I am nervous. I always get the titration wrong and forget the concentration calculations and the questions kind of build up on each other, so if you get the first one wrong, you'll get the rest wrong. They've given us lots of practice, so I've been going over them and redoing them. Hopefully I don't mess up tomorrow.

And then EOM and lit homework which I never do and chem tutorials and my stupid philo essay, which class I can't go to anymore. *grumble* I mean for the past 5 years I've been giving things up for the sake of school and I hate not being able to do the things I like. And once I give up something, I'm not allowed to take it back, in case my grades drop again. Mostly the school makes me give things up. And mostly it is my fault.

Ok it is entirely my fault that I've had to give things up. Admittedly I used to not mind giving up violin and my time, because I didn't want to be bogged down by things, but now I would really like not to have remedial and have my time back. And now I've given almost everything up and what's left is the minimum to get my butt through school, but it's still not working.

Although. The upside is that the emphasis on schoolwork and busybusy days make you think about your priorities, so you keep what is important to you and let go of what is not. Everything superfluous is abandoned, and your time and energy is concentrated on activities that matter, so that's a good thing.

I'm hungry.
and off-kilter.
When have I not been off-kilter?

Arghh I don't want to have to worry about.

I don't know what to say, except that everything that has been going on lately has been rather personal.

Hmm. Since amanda palmer (http://twitter.com/amandapalmer) is talking about hitting the rag, I'll talk about that too! I don't have bad cramps ^^ And I'm not on the rag at the moment. Some people chart their cycles on a calendar, but I don't, partly because mine tends to be really irregular. I am fascinated by people who can go: "okay, Aunt Flo is going to visit this week; I'd better stock up on aspirin." The crimon wave shouldn't be something to complain about, especially when you eat less!

On a more (or less?) serious note, I notice that in a coed school, people don't complain about their cramps as much. In my old school, we used to use it as an excuse for anything! Especially PE. I hate the pads they sell in the school shop for people who aren't expecting it. They're the cheapest kind, which means they're lumpy and rough. I like tampons!Have you noticed the ones they sell in condom-like packaging? That's funny.

The euphemisms are so cute:
My cup of joy is overflowing
Nosebleed in Australia
Playing banjo in Sgt. Zygote's Ragtime Band (beatles reference!)
Panty shields up, Captain! (port or starboard?)
Scarlet letter, The (literary reference!)
Vampire's bag lunch (Though hopefully not edward's. Has anyone thought of what Edward does when Bella is on the rag?)

fug it why is blogger falling to pieces? yesterday I couldn't link, and today I can't see the layout properly. 2.30am.

sorry. This whole time I've been thinking about going away but the thing is. If university/ what comes next doesn't turn out to be what I've hoped it would be, what would I do? Because sometimes I kind of think that university would be the be all and end all, the solution to all the problems, the end to this blinking hell hole, but what if it isn't really all these things?

What if my teachers/ lecturers end up being people who can't teach? What if I won't get to learn all the things I want to? What if secretly university and the classes and the syllabus are just like A levels, only worse? fugfugfug I mean I never thought these things could happen until I went to the school I'm going to now.

Though honestly it is not wise to put university on a pedestal and say that it is made up of good glorious things, when actually it might, in equal parts, might

ok this will be a quick one:

from amanda palmer: "i’m also trying to book a singapore gig (i’ll be there with neil) in october."
ARE YOU SERIOUS and

from neil gaiman: "World Fantasy Con is Hallowe'en Weekend (in San Jose website is http://www.worldfantasy2009.org/). I won't be there as I'm going to be in Singapore for the literary festival. But I will miss it."

oh my goodness they never come to this part of the world...

And even if amanda palmer can't book a show, she can still do a ninja twitter thing and I will pay!

I double-checked and the literary festival in question is the Singapore Writer's Festival. OMG I can volunteer and things they have openings-- but it's for schools only/ organisations. If only I can find a group of people... WG? Anyone from WG covering this? Can I have in on this??

It would be like volunteering at a CON, because they have programming and panels and things... and it is after promos (year end exams) but before PW (this project we have to do)so I will be free for this!! Kind of. But it is a chance not to be missed ahh.

Looked up the guest list but neil gaiman isn't on it. What if he just put it as a typo or a joke or something and he isn't really coming? *dithers* should I email to ask for specifics?

D: twitter was down yesterday and I couldn't check jbdazen's tweets. *sigh*
On the bright side, fiona has found my blog! *waves* after the whole ___room fuss. haha.

Haven't been posting for two weeks or so. What has transpired in my absence? hmm http://redbicycletea.blogspot.com has updated. So has tumbleweedrabbits. We're starting from scratch! It's relieving because all my icky pictures used to be on there and now they are not. phoung-nghi takes better pictures than I do. So does michele.

I keep watching jbdazen's The Geeks Are Out video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ae8mCVje0M) and I keep seeing myself... and the quality of the video pales in comparison to the other participants. I mean it's only a couple seconds (thank god for that) but argh seeing yourself in widescreen amongst other better youtubers is a bit discouraging. It's because I'm thin-skinned. I could have put in more effort, though, because when I filmed the video I was in a rush to go to school because I stupidly slept the night before. darn.

Happy thing! Washed the shoes I got from youswop and they fit like a glove! Because they were a bit big before and they shrank while washing, I guess. Got them for $12 in youswop money, which I swopped 1 sudoku player for. Yay for not spending real money. Though sometimes the youswop thing doesn't work because I really want shoes, but the shoes there are ugly/ don't fit me. And I can't buy any more clothes, because my closet is filled to the brim. I mean really. I can't fit my new clothes in. A wardrobe full of clothes and nothing to wear.

I don't think it's because I'm buying too many clothes, though. The last time I went shopping was two months ago (at the fleaflyflofun thing) and I only got a skirt. It's just that I have things that my parents/ relatives have gotten for me, but I hate them and never wear them. But it's not polite if you throw it away, because then they'll be like: "Where's the shirt I got you? Why aren't you wearing it?" And I still have things that don't fit me, that I used to wear when I was 10/ 11 years old. When you think about it, I'll be turning 17 next wednesday-- that means I've kept the clothes for far too long!

Don't think I should be shopping from now till exams though. I don't know. Sometimes when I haven't been going out, I really really feel that I need to get out of the school-home-tuition loop and do something or my brain will get fried.

Pfft won't get my camera back till tuesday so I can't catch up on video-uploading during the long weekend D: sigh. Yesterday during national day festivities, this ensued:

CHELE: *holding video camera, filming* Could you help me film?
ME: Sure! (jumps and grabs camera from her hands)
CHELE: (goes away)
PA SYSTEM: Could everybody sit down?
ME: oh crap oh crap (messes up footage)
CHELE: (returns) I'll take it from here
~another group comes on~
ME: Can I film this? I'm really good at keeping the camera still, I'm really good with video cameras... (really, I have only used video cameras twice in my life)
CHELE: But it's not mine-- I don't think you should be playing with it. If we can delete the footage it'll be ok.
ME: Okay, hand it over. I'll figure it out. (presses too many buttons and has no idea how to do this)
CHELE: It's not yours, woman, don't spoil it.
ME: But it's so shiny! Don't you realise how much memory this has? The quality of video? The battery life? (rambles and still can't figure it out)
OWNER OF CAMERA: (I do not know this person at all) Could I have my camera back?
ME: (Grudgingly returns camera with a sad look)
CHELE: (kicks me)

I deserved to be kicked. But! video cameras are so shiny...