I should start having headings to my posts so it'll be easier to find later.

ocw: introduction to biology fall'04
Today I was wandering around ocw (OpenCourseWare by mit), looking for a break from lightning on the wave, and I found an introductory biology course which has video lectures! Which is the closest you can get to actually being at mit, and I wanted to experience it for myself. The lecture is sbout an hour long, and I have broadband, so it might be a little difficult for dial-ups, if you want to download it. I watched Genetics I, becuase my sister was interested in it but just listens for the fun of it, and it was fairly comprehensive and understandable. This is like the one class that I know I wont sleep in x), because the teacher/professor was being fun and interesting, and of course it's something I'm interested in. It is somewhat of a prerequisite to have studied genetics in high school/secondary education, and he takes it for granted that you know all this stuff already. I have a basic grasp of what he's talking about, and he didn't go into anything too complex, so it was ok. haha but the funny thing is I feel comfortable in the class and I wouldn't mind actually taking it, as an alternative to bio lessons at school. But yes I know being too specialised too early isn't good because you need to have a broad idea of what is happening; and what if you change your mind and don't like it etc. This lecture talked mainly about what the professor thinks defines biology today, and he did an early introduction to genetics with gregor[sp?] mendel, was a bright young thing, how he was pressed by society to do his experiments and he didn't do it all alone, and he discussed allelles[sp?], the dominant and recessive gene and after that a little of chromosomes. Did you know that 'chromosome' translates literally into 'coloured things'? 'chromo' is like um 'monochrome' I think, and it generally means 'colour'. And it was just because they didn't know what the coloured things that the dyes revealed were-_-" I mean narrow Xes are very interesting to look at and postulate about. On the discussion forums, there were some people who were actually serious about the course and are doing the readings, the assignments etc. I'm just watching the movies. lazy me. But there is a LOT of reading to do in most of the courses I've seen (even in hiphop study!) so there is preparation you need to do before/after the class. Plus the fact that there are 3 lectures per week, an hour each, and 2 sessions of recitations per week.- i dont really know what recitations are. But its more than what we get for school, with all the homework to do, might be kind of difficult to manage. That's considering the other courses you have to take (I dont know how many) and the work you do to pay for your tuition and the housework, etc that you have to do regularly. Am I overreacting? haha or am I fairly accurate?

other emo ramblings
I feel like I am the dumbest person in the whole universe. Even if you delve into the far reaches of the galaxies, you'll never find someone who is slower than I am. I will be exercising greater self-censorship, and no, you won't find the confessional tell-all that you will be looking for, which also will not be invsible. Though somtimes I might decide to put what I am feeling into cryptic, hopefully undecipherable, heat-of-the-moment haikus, in a bid to vent my fustration. I feel sad. and stupid. and unaccomplished. I and I know the exact reason why- I don't do the work. I am just an emofreak who knows how to bawl her eyes out and drown in her pool of self-pity and sorrow and not do much else. and that is why I am pathetic. rahh this is starting to look like a cry for attention, but what I really want is a solution to my procrastination. The realisation of how these scribbles would look like to ## ####### is just starting to dawn on me and I am exercising this last scrap of self-discipline to end here.