I interrupt regular transmission to bring you: Hank Green.
watch the video! I don't think he allows embedding ):
It's exactly when I think I mean when I say I don't want to get older.
But the problem is, very frequently in my daily life I find that I'm telling myself to act more mature. The conversation in my head often goes like this:

A: why did you do that? why can't you be more responsible! If you aren't responsible and mature, you can't be an adult and function efficiently in the adult world! What is wrong with you???
B: WHAT. IS. MATURITY?
A: Maturity is having respect for other people and yourself. It also includes being punctual.
B: BUT I think immature people are people who are too stupid to think analytically about their problems. You could take care of all your responsibilities and still be immature.

*angst*

I am not very eloquent. Anyway, I think right now my conscience is trying to convince myself to be more boring and adult, to ease my transition into the adult world. If this goes on for too long, I'm afraid I might forget to have fun altogether. However there are a million external factors that are making you be more adult. In fact, because of these million factors, I think I'm almost halfway there! These factors include: teachers, parents, exams, colleges, peers, and irritating mean old ladies.

It's not that I can do anything about these external factors, though. Honestly, becoming adult is almost necessary sometimes to have fun. It's only when you act mature people permit you to do fun things, and go places to have fun. All you have to do is make these external factors believe you are mature, and then you can go have all the fun you want!

In a less abstract manner, you need to make your college admissions officer believe that you are responsible and mature before you can enter college, and you need to enter college for your future employers to trust you enough to pay you a salary, and THEN you can start having all the fun you want. It sounds like I'm cynical, and I'm being anti-nick (just like anti-helena) at the moment, but it's my perception of the real world, and it's kind of what yingling was talking about during that endless night.

Although-- even though I have this perception, I don't necessarily act according to it :(
which is good and bad.