thought

With each successive person I come out to, it just becomes easier and easier. It’s wonderful.

And then someone today was like “my partner” and someone else went “he?” and then she goes “no, she” and there’s not a OH YOU’RE GAY moment, it’s a “oops, sorry for my mistake” moment, and hereafter her partner is known as “she”, which was awesome.

It just seems easier for me, because I always expect the worst. Like I came out to this friend whom I’ve known for years, and she surprisingly took it very well. There was an “OH YOU’RE GAY” moment, but it was polite and tactful, and it was also partly because she had known me for so long and I hadn’t mentioned it to her before. I came out to someone today and it went so smoothly I can’t believe it. I’ve only just known the person for a week, which makes it a little easier, but she just took it in her stride, you know. 

Maybe it’s just a “me” thing. Maybe the next person I come out to will be an asshole. I’ve learnt to pick and choose, sometimes test the water a bit. But for now I really like it and I like people and the world and shit. I love that some people are so understanding and not assholes. 

5:04am

why did I put facebook under my selfcontrol block when I want to talk on the anthro fb group -_-‘
ok well at least I’ve got selfcontrol on.
can’t sleep tonight or I’ll be screwed~ #royally
didn’t really do much in the day, as usual.

going to print out the encouraging tweets and tweets of people telling me to study and put them up sometime :P 

ahaha I don’t know why I watch these things but for some reason this makes me feel uncomfortable. *should be studying* heh. I’ve blocked twitter so things that usually go on there are going on here.

sometimes I play dumb to get people to like me. Or in an attempt to get people to be friends with me. That’s how people think I’m thick! woohoo! idk, when I get too smart-alecky sometimes people find that off putting. Does anyone else do this? Especially when you don’t know the other person that well. I notice that my mum does this as well, play dumb in front of anyone she doesn’t know that well. She pretends not to know things, and laughs a lot, and avoids anything referring to what she works as. She likes them to call her “Mrs Chen” even though she hasn’t changed her name, and she uses her maiden name on official things like credit cards. Sometimes she pretends to be a housewife. She pretends like she’s a rich guy’s wife, even though my mum has been promoted to a higher position compared to my dad, and earns just as much as him, if not more. I don’t find my dad having to pretend that he’s a househusband or whatever, even though my parents work in the same profession.

But then again I find my dad’s profession being discussed less in small talk because he tends to ramble about COE prices or traffic rather than his job. With my mum, her profession is like this big pink elephant in the room that she tries so much to hide that to me, it’s obvious that she’s hiding it. 

It’s been said that it’s a “woman” thing, that because people don’t like girls who are smart so girls play dumb.

sometime there will be a conclusion. *goes away*