hello my friends. I'm listening to this now, by the way:

as recommended from a book blog.

(it's not the best music, but it helps drown things out)

I have my GP common test tomorrow, 2.30pm, approximately 12 hours from now.

My mum told me to prepare.

I don't feel like preparing. I don't know. Common sense dictates that I should at least prepare sample questions, so when I pick questions tomorrow it won't seem so scary.

Last year, as evidence for GP, I used to use stuff I read from the anthropology blogs I'm subbed to on Google Reader. No one knows about that evidence, it is obscure yet relevant, the marker thinks I know something, I get the marks. Easy.

Of course it's easy. How can it be hard when your teacher forgets gordon brown's name?

Of course there's the risk that a harder teacher might mark my essay. In which case I'll come up with the most obscure/ treehugger/ vegan/ indie/ hippie/ youtube examples, and crap a little. And, oh, remember to write my conclusion and state the links from paragraph to thesis statement very explicitly.

I sound arrogant.

It's true.

and snarky. that's true too.

It's pointless to engage in a ideological war, yes? I should just do what I'm supposed to.

Had bio tuition today. Teacher told me off for being "listless" and quiet. He said my body language indicated that I didn't feel like being at tuition. wtf what do you expect me to say when I don't know what to say and have no questions to ask? And do you really think I enjoy being in bio tuition? Do I really want to be present when all I really have to do is mug for GP, and you made me miss math remedial? Do I really want to be here when I'm signed up for 2 math tuitions, 2 bio tuitions, 2 chem tuitions and gp tuition?

This shouldn't be a personal attack. But I really don't understand when you say want me to give long answers to your questions. I really don't know any answers, because I haven't studied. Sometimes your questions only warrant short answers. What do you want me to freaking say, if I've haven't studied. What kind of long answers do you want? Do you want essay answers? But your questions aren't essay questions.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY WHEN YOU SAY I'M QUIET

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG FREAKING THING

THAT'S WHY I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT, BECAUSE I HAVE COMMON SENSE

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, MAKE UP SHIT AND SPIT IT IN FRONT OF YOU

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY YOU WANT ME TO SPEAK MORE

WOULD I WILLINGLY CONTRIBUTE DRIVEL TO YOUR IDLE CONVERSATIONS

I DON'T LIKE TALKING TO YOU, AND I'M NOT GOING TO PRETEND OTHERWISE

And of course I don't look you in the eye. I don't like you. I never look authority in the eye. I always look down, or to the side. I have poor interpersonal skills. Looking people in the eye creeps me out, especially when you are sitting right across me. What do you want me to do, stare at you for the entire 2 hours? Of course I respect you. That's why I don't look you in the eye.

Yes, of course this is self-justification. What else is it?