I suppose the above was the soundtrack for saturday night. I woke up the next morning after 4 hours of sleep (usual for me) thinking: "What did I do last night?" and thought of this song.

I will tell all! For posterity.

So Saturday afternoon me kiru and darran met for TEA at this fancy tea-place, and I had christmas, kiru had paradise kiss, and darran had darjeeling.

[the details are warranted because I'm afraid in the future if I get amnesia I'll forget everything and that's a scary thought. I am not a Writer, though, so it's okay to put in Details even if they don't mean anything. To the reader, at least.]

Then we walked. Walked to orchard plaza. Talked. And talked. And took the bus from orchard plaza to esplanade but missed a stop and walked through suntec, where there was a japanese tea place with "cute waitresses". Alas, the cute ones weren't there save for the lone girl at the front desk whom kiru suspected was put there for the express reason for attracting customers. It wasn't a maid cafe, though. It was just a cafe selling related merch and a "fashion line" where all the clothes seemed to be made out of the same kind of fabric, where the jewellery cases looked like salad bars.

Walked out of marina square and on the overhead bridge-thing so we ended up opposite the esplanade. The helix was right next to the esplanade, so we went on that, and mused at the surrounding construction projects. Darran took this time to promote the YOG and kiru talked about knowing someone who used to babysit for JKR. (ooh.) And said she only read the last three books only to know what happened to harry/ron/hermione. She was sad that 90% of DH was about H/R/ Hr being out of hogwarts, when the Harry Potter was meant to be a Boarding School series.

(digression: I only like Harry Potter so much because I grew up alongside Harry; its release spanned about 10 years of my short 17-year life. And also because mugglecast and the fandom kept me going through the tough preteen/ teen years. This needs its own blog entry.

If I were to start reading harry potter now, though, I would stop after Philosopher's Stone, and same goes for The Chronicles of Narnia. There are certain books you just have to read as a kid.)

On the helix, we noticed that on the floor was AT and CG and as a bio student I am ashamed to say that I did not get the letters at first; Kiru noticed it because she said she watched Gattaca in GP lessons with mrs Perry. And then I realised that AT and GC spelled "gattaca", and that was probably why the movie was titled so. #isslow On a random note, I first watched gattaca when I was 10 on television in a hotel room in hong kong.

Walked BACK ACROSS the bridge after walking its length for POPYE'S because Darran wanted fried chicken. Kiru got a soda and a biscuit, I got a drink because walking in the heat makes you mega-thirsty. Also wearing tights when it's hot is not a very intelligent idea because while it is kind of cute, you get unattractively hot, sweaty and red in the face. Mused about the fact that it was a bad time to mention that I was vegetarian, kiru said she was kind-of vegetarian too. Kiru and darran talked about schools and things. More talking ensues. This is a ridiculously boring blogpost.

After popye's, kiru thinks that it's a good idea to get on home, so we walk to the esplanade in search of the Esplanade station on the circle line, only to realise that we have no idea where it is, even with the help of kiru's trusty phone. I cannot, for the life of me, remember what happened in the next few minutes (see, I was right about the amnesia) but somehow we walked and ended up at the Arts House, where darran was due for his volunteering stint. He's early and decides to walk us to clarke quay and the raffles place mrt station, where he presumes kiru would want to take the train home. Turns out that it's easier for kiru to get home from clarke quay mrt, so I walk with kiru through clarke quay and we talk about pubs and gay bars, to Central. Kiru departs, while I have a subway dinner and sit for a while, mugging chem, because 1. I am hungry 2. my legs are tired.

I see the fallout from pinkdot and regret the fact that I didn't make it, but spending time with darran and kiru-- I hadn't seen kiru in 5 MONTHS-- was more important. Happy that there are more guys than girls in pink shirts, and more lame girls not-in-pink but carrying pink balloons and related memorabilia. I saunter back to the Arts House for underground seed, hoping to catch loki, but it turns out he went on sunday instead. At underground seed I see Patriot, who got me when they played Creep. I sang along like the stupid groupie that I am. They played stuff to... lose your head in, if you wish-- Time Is Running Out by Muse, and Seven Nation Army by White Stripes. I only recognised 3 songs out of their 6-song set. They take inspiration from Incubus and Rage Against the Machine.

What followed were 2 short films, a emo poetry reading which I found funny (but I don't think the writer intended it to be), and a theatre thing that was better than the poetry. I escape at about 8 or 9, I think, before the second half, to see the fire installation that darran was involved in. It was very pretty, and there were lots of people with DSLRs and posing girls. The music was nice too, and I heard their next stop was Brussels. At the fire installation I find darran, take a survey, and meet darran's friends who've come to see him. (so begins the crazy part)

They're called meredith and ling, and they are so ridiculously friendly and funny that I invite myself for icecream with them (yes I'm shameless). Darran decides to introduce me as girl-who's-on-the-internet and they become interested and resolve to look me up on youtube. I search in my bag for namecards (don't ask) turns out I have none, but I give them my handle nonetheless. So I introduce myself, they ask about WHAT I DO-- I think they half-expected me to be... older heh xD but anyway since I look like I'm 12, when they know I'm 17 it isn't news to them.

So we chat-- ling is hilarious and has humor just uncannily like xiaxue's, and meredith is an expert at deadpanning. These are the first people I've met in ages who aren't serious AT ALL and so I love them. I walk with them to this japanese ice cream stand for ling's recommendation of sakura ice cream. They've run out (sadface) and I get green tea ice cream instead. We sit at the singapore river, chatting somemore and eating our ice creams-- which are an excellent idea because it was sweltering after the fire exhibition. Some of it was funny girl talk, which I sorely miss, and we make jokes about me being a few months shy of 18-- which means they don't bring me for drinks xD and I tell stories about going to m18 movies. Ling asks about darran, whom she's only met the first time that night, and meredith dishes the dirt on him, because she's known him for years.

I realise afterwards they _could_ have dissed me or snubbed me off but they chose to string me along, which was nice. We talk about flea markets, and I think about how they would be fabulous people to go shopping with. Afterwards we head home, because they need to have early nights, and I walk home. It's creepy because every time I take the bus from the train station, it's always the SAME BUS at this time of the night. As in, there are at least 5 different buses I could take, but the first bus that stops is ALWAYS the same one. A sign?

Anyway this whole thing is a breakthrough for me, because... before I've always been super nervous when getting to meet people for the first time. As in, my friends irl always know me as "the quiet one" and really, when I'm anxious I don't speak much and withdraw, you know? In some ways it's kind of an accomplishment for me to be able to relax around someone new and not freeze up, and to be able to make small talk.

In order to understand this properly, you need to know that from when I was 3 to 14 I was quiet, and "reticent" still shows up on my report card. I would avoid people just so I didn't need to make awkward conversation where I didn't have anything to say. Sometimes I hated talking to people whom I didn't really know well, because it felt like I was being grilled. I was always worried about saying the wrong thing, or trying to find the appropriate thing to say, so much so that I didn't say anything at all.

I think I might talk about this more in another blogpost, and ask my friends more about how I was. To be honest, though, the incremental changes are occurring at a very S-L-O-W rate, that people don't notice. The changes are so small that sometimes it makes very little difference. But I think about how much better I am at expressing myself now, compared to the DSA interview I had when I was 12, and how I'm so much more comfortable around people I'm not familiar with. Even though these changes don't seem to mean much on the outside, it's perceptible to me, and it helps.