Been looking at universities.

This makes me kind of excited and pumped :) idk to really learn the things I'm passionate about, and to start life in an entirely different place with people I don't know-- it's so exciting :D Kind of grateful that I have this chance to go away ><

Although it's been really hard to make a decision, and it's been hard trying to talk things over with my mum. I'm so indecisive as it is, and you just have to throw in another factor (sigh) and it's not just my mum; it's my dad, it's the #1 question relatives ask, etc. But I'm glad the people I've told about university-- especially the people I know online-- aren't pressuring me about uni applications, or trying to do the whole "when I was your age, I wanted to go to ____ and study ___" They've just been really supportive and helpful-- holtza, sarahcoldheart, kiru-- so it's nice :)

Sometimes I feel bad about getting to go to university so soon when most of the #adcrew-- avariel, jo, sarah, rsilvers are going/ went to poly.
It's such a silly thing to worry about, though. But still. I don't really mention it in front of them.

Now I'm trying to narrow down to 6 choices on my UCAS application, and it's so hard >.> because I'm going by course, and the 3 courses I want to look for are conservation biology, anthropology, and um. something. Some academic thing that will let me look at society and culture and maybe a little bit of philo. I want to do philo. St Thomas (this liberal arts place in canada) has the aquinas programme and University College Amsterdam has the Big Questions program, which basically means you read all the stuff major thinkers have written, and you attempt to discuss morality and ethics and humanity, and it's all pretty fascinating. I think I want to have a chance to develop my critical thinking like that. And write essays. I need to learn how to write better essays. At school I've only ever done machiavelli, but I liked it. I like the big moral and religious questions SF novels raise, especially Le Guin's.

Sometimes I worry that I'll never get in for any of my UCAS choices, and I'll have to go through Clearing and Extras, which is a pain in the ass. You end up having to negotiate and practically have to beg for a place anywhere, and they throw you in the least popular courses. Fingers crossed! And I'll be spending a lot more time on my prelims.

P.S. It's not completely decided that I'll be going to uni in the UK; things are still pretty open right now. I'll be filling in all my 6 UCAS choices, but I'll also do the 3 choices that the ontario admissions people allow, and I'll be applying to University College Amsterdam and Leiden University maybe, and probably a handful of new england universities. Not to mention macquarie in australia. Just decided on the UK first because the admission deadline, because my mum insists I try (and will get rejected) for Oxford, is on 15th October.