I feel intimidated by Charisse's long posts. Therefore today I will be giving you, the reader, a 500-word entry.

I painted my nail today. My thumbnail to be exact. With my sister's purple glitter-comes-with-Sabrina's Secrets polish. She is at the glorious age of 10, one of the pre-teens mattel targets. Since it came with a magazine, it was bound to be of cheap, of low quality and everything else besides. But being a polish n00b, I thought all types of nail polish are equal, and I learned later on that some are more equal than others. So i unscrewed the bottle, and got the excess polish of the brush, as you're supposed to, and proceeded to paint a steady stroke down the middle of my nail. The first stroke was all right, but subsequent strokes made the polish clump and spread unevenly. By this time, stray bits of glitter/nail polish had got on my cuticle and the skin surrounding the nail. The nail polish looked thin and translucent, and I decided to wait and do another coat. The second coat was no better than the first, with it drying in random places and also because my stingy self refused to reload my brush with somemore. I patiently waited for it to dry and tried to scrape off some of the polish from my skin.

Back to the low-quality part. I know this is lousy nail polish because of the way it clumped and the way it gave my nail a very rough texture afterwards. (Or was it the glitter?) Compared to other painted nails i've seen, my thumbnail looked horrible, even worse than when 5-year-olds paint their nails pink and it comes off all chipped - that's only a couple days after ther nail has been painted. Or maybe the polish has been stored for too long without being used and it decided to clump by itself. And um I have been apprehensive about using nail polish because people said it was noxious (moxious!) and nail polish was like car paint.

And cheap bottles of nail polish are made by cheap companies who have no regard whatsoever about the health of the consumer; only the number of bottles they sell and put cheap, possibly life threatening toxic substances in the nail polish. Cheep! But I can't afford nail polish made by companies who actually take the lives of their consumers into consideration, eg revlon or somthing like that.

Cheap companies should think of it this way: if your customers use your nail polish and they die, there won't be anyone to buy your products anymore! However, since cheap nail-polish consumers aren't dropping dead everywhere, I have come up with the perfect biological analogy! Take, for example, the influenza virus. It sucks the life energy out of people- ok fine, uses their vampire- like qualities of taking over the host cell and its nucleus and making it produce many other baby viruses, which will in turn, infect other people. But if they kill the host organism too fast, it looses the ability to infect others and dead cells cannot make other baby virus-things, and therefore the whole virus species dies. I know 'species' is the wrong word, but you get the gist, don't you? And like viruses, who dont have to feed, cheap companies are maniacally obsessive about making more bottles of nail polish, but the poison in the polish poisons the consumer bit by bit, and doesn't kill them straightaway. They dont mind if their consumers die; therefore they are not human and viruses aren't technically living organisms.

I think cheap companies are run by "the man" anyway, and he isn't even remotely a human being. As a disclaimer to all, I speak about cheap companies in general, and not specifically about the company who made sabrina's secrets nail polish, so please dont sue me. Though it would be awfully exciting if it ever will happen, and i would gain press publicity! Which might probably lead to a published book! (yeah, right) or at least more tags on my tagboard.

yay! Word says i have 680 words in this entry! Though it might be thrown off by the grammar errors and odd hyphenated[?] words, it has to be at least 500. ohoh this is funny.

What do elephants use as tampons?
Sheep.
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because sheep don't have strings.